Zodiac High

*Mrs. Constellation's Office*

*The 12 signs are facing Mrs. Constellation, with their butts planted on the black metal chairs, forming a half circle.*
MRS. CONSTELLATION: Anybody want to go first?
*Virgo raises hand.*
MRS. CONSTELLATION: Go ahead Virgo.
VIRGO: I shouldn't be here.
TAURUS: *Mocks.* I'm Virgo, the most perfect human being to ever exist. I'm in a perfect relationship with my boyfriend Capricorn. I have perfect grades, perfect family and my life is perfect. I can't do no wrong.
*Gemini laughs.*
LIBRA: *Mocks.* I'm Taurus and I don't have no self esteem. I let guys cum inside me and treat me like a Raggedy Ann doll. I'm in love with my guy who doesn't love me. I'm so desperate, I faked a whole pregnancy.
*Everyone laughs, except for the silent Gemini, Leo and Taurus.*
LEO: I'm Libra—
LIBRA: You better not!
LEO: I can do whatever I want.
CAPRICORN: According to the law, you can't.
LEO: Nobody asked for your opinion.
SCORPIO: And nobody asked for you to be a dickhead to Libra.
LEO: Blame Sagittarius.
SAGITTARIUS: Dude. Get over yourself. You're mad because I got your girl pregnant when we were together.
LEO: And that you still loved her.
SAGITTARIUS: *Shrugs.* She's the one that got away.
LEO: You can have her.
*Libra gasps.*
*Taurus smirks.*
*Pisces shakes his head.*
LIBRA: I thought you loved me.
*Leo shrugs.*
SCORPIO: You're seriously getting mad over something that had happened in the past.
LEO: Sagittarius still wants Libra.
LIBRA: But I don't want him.
LEO: You got pregnant by him.
LIBRA: And I had an abortion. You need to let it go!
LEO: You let him cum inside you.
LIBRA: You had unprotected sex with Taurus.
LEO: But she never got pregnant.
LIBRA: Fyi, you can still get pregnant when you have protected sex.
LEO: But you never had protected sex.
LIBRA: You're full of shit.
LEO: At least I wouldn't never kill my baby.
MRS. CONSTELLATION: LEO! APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW!
LEO: I shouldn't have to apologize for speaking facts.
LIBRA: DON'T EVER FUCKING TALK TO ME AGAIN!!!! *Runs out of the room.*
CANCER: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! *Removes herself from the room.*
SCORPIO: YOU'RE ON MY PURGE LIST, BITCH! *Follows Cancer.*
VIRGO: You shouldn't be allowed to breathe the same air as us! You're lucky she gave you chance. *Exits room.*
PISCES: You're going to regret this.
LEO: No I'm not.
SAGITTARIUS: Thanks for being the idiot that you are. Now she's all mines again.
GEMINI: You're so disgusting.
LEO: I don't care. You can have her.
CAPRICORN: You're a selfish bastard. You're just mad because she didn't get pregnant by YOU! *Points at Leo.*
LEO: She never told me about that. Neither did Sag, who is supposed to be my homeboy but wants Libra to himself.
PISCES: And you let him. She's done with you. There's no going back from this.
LEO: Aries said harsher things to Cancer and they got back together.
AQUARIUS: Because Cancer is stupid for getting back with Aries.
ARIES: Don't drag me into your mess. You're the one who fucked up.
LEO: I fucked up. You're a teen dad.
ARIES: You want to be a teen dad.
TAURUS: Everyone leave Leo alone!
AQUARIUS: You're seriously defending Leo? After all the foul shit he did to you.
GEMINI: I agree with Aqua. Let him defend himself.
LEO: Thank you Taurus, for coming to my defense.
PISCES: We're calling you out for your stupid behavior.
LEO: I'm not stupid.
AQUARIUS: You sure about that?
PISCES: No, but you have an ego problem.
LEO: I don't have an ego problem.
CAPRICORN/PISCES/AQUARIUS/ARIES/GEMINI: Yes you do!
MRS. CONSTELLATION: *Gets up from metal black chair, hugging on to her pink pastel clipboard with excess amounts of notes.* I'll be right back. I need to go to talk to Mrs. Zodiac. *Leaves the room.*
LEO: I hope she tells her that everyone was ganging up on me.
TAURUS: I wasn't ganging up on you.
LEO: Everyone, except for Taurus. *Winks at Taurus.*
GEMINI/AQUARIUS: Ew.
CAPRICORN: Maybe you and Taurus should get back together and continued on with your toxic relationship.
TAURUS: I'm not toxic.
AQUARIUS: That's something a toxic person would say.
LEO: Ignore him Taurus. He's just made because I can get hoes, but he can't.
PISCES: As a good friend, drop the ego and pride. It's not a good look for you.
LEO: I don't need to drop anything. I'm awesome as fuck! Every guy in this school wants to be me.
*Capricorn and Aquarius knit their eyebrows in confusion.*
*Aries and Pisces exchange a look among themselves and glance back at their egoistic friend.*
*Sagittarius laughs.*
CAPRICORN: No one wants to be you. Believe me.
LEO: I still got hoes hitting my dms.
SAGITTARIUS: If Libra never got that abortion, we would be one big happy family.
LEO: Too bad you didn't end up with a happy ending.
SAGITTARIUS: She had a part of my dna inside her, something that you wished you had.
LEO: She still dumped you!
SAGITTARIUS: We're getting back together, all thanks to your shenanigans.
LEO: I can't believe you were ever my best friend.
SAGITTARIUS: You're the one who dated my ex, after we broked up. What kind of best friend are you?
LEO: You should had treated her better.
SAGITTARIUS: At least she wants to be around me. I can't say the same thing about you.
TAURUS: Why are y'all fighting over her? She's not the Queen of England.
AQUARIUS: Because she has quality, unlike some people in this room.
PISCES: And she's very pretty.
TAURUS: I'm pretty too!
AQUARIUS: But you're desperate.
TAURUS: Go to hell!
AQUARIUS: I did. It was pretty awesome. Can't wait to go back for spring break.