I'd do anything for love (3/4)

24

Meredith was asleep in bed, Derek had administered her tube feeding, it must have been late in the morning

"Daddy, no!" She heard her youngest daughter cry. She wanted to get up and go take a look, be there for her daughter but she just couldn't. Her body felt so heavy, she was exhausted and her body ached

"Emma, be quiet. Mommy's asleep" Derek whispered

"I want mommy! You're mean!" Emma kept crying

"Emma, just listen!" Meredith heard Derek snap. She knew he would never snap at their kids

"No!" Emma screamed and ran into her parents' room

"Emma!" Derek scolded and ran after her into the room and saw Meredith's eyes were open as Emma climbed onto the bed

"It's okay. I'm awake" Meredith weakly whispered, barely able to keep her eyes open

"Daddy's mean!" Emma cried into Meredith's arms

"Em, that's not true and it's not sweet to say those things" Meredith said sternly

"I wanna stay with you" Emma whimpered

"Give her a bit" Meredith sighed as she looked at Derek

"I'm downstairs if you need me" He walked out

"Der-" Meredith wanted to stop him

"Mommy" Emma whimpered as she clutched her mother's shirt

"Mommy's here" Meredith softly rubbed Emma's back, the tremble still there

"I don't like that you're sick" Emma whispered

"I don't like that either, baby" Meredith kissed Emma's head

Meredith felt her scarf slipping off slightly. Addison had helped her shave off the last pieces of hair that were left. It had been an emotional night, she only had showed it to Derek the evening before

As Meredith tried to adjust the scarf, her trembling hands made the fabric slip out of her hands

"Mommy?" Emma gasped slightly

"It's okay baby" Meredith kissed her forehead as Emma reached her hand out to touch her mother's bald scalp

"Mer, we have to leave in a bit-" He walked in with Ava

Meredith heard her oldest daughter gasp in response

Even though Meredith had been wearing a hat for a while, neither of the girls had really seen how bad the bald spots were, until now

"Hey it's okay" Meredith said softly and reached out of her oldest daughter

"It feels weird" Emma chuckled as she started touching Meredith's scalp

"I think mommy's still beautiful" Derek kissed her scalp despite the tears that were close to falling

"Mommy's always beautiful!" Ava said and cuddled into her mother's small body

"That's very true" Derek confirmed and kissed Meredith's lips

"I love you" She whispered, her voice cracking

"I love you too" Derek breathed in her neck, smelling her scent

...

"Auntie Bailey, why does mommy need that?" Ava asked as she was closely looking to what Bailey was doing while Emma was laying down together next to Meredith underneath several blankets

"To kill the cancer that's inside her body" Bailey explained

"Oh" Ava nodded firmly

"And now I'm gonna attach it to the port in your mommy's body. Look" Bailey said as she revealed the port on Meredith's chest. Meredith was shivering, she didn't like that a part of her bare skin got exposed, dang she was cold "And now the medicine go into your mommy's body" She finished

Derek quickly covered Meredith again while Bailey kept explaining to their oldest daughter what was happening to Meredith

"That's so cool!" Ava gasped

"Meredith, you did lose more weight than you can handle" Bailey frowned and made some notes in Meredith's chart

"She never skips her tube feeding but she has a hard time with the chemo" Derek sighed

"Do you try to eat some regular food?" Bailey asked as she checked Meredith's feeding tube that was inserted during the surgery to give her stomach enough rest in the long run

"She tries to eat soup or applesauce but usually not more than a few spoons" Derek replied as he kept stroking Meredith's hand

"I try" Meredith's voice cracked as she kept shivering

"We know you try" Derek kissed her forehead and tucked the covers underneath her chin

"It hurts" Meredith sighed

"Kisses mommy" Emma whispered and kissed her mother's cheek

"I'll administer some meds before we start your chemo" Bailey looked appoletical at Meredith, her heart breaking for the woman she trained to be a doctor

"Mommy, can I read to you?" Ava asked softly, the small girl started reading during summer

"Of course" Meredith smiled softly and buried her head in Emma's hair, the little girl sound asleep neet to her

Bailey was administering Meredith's pain meds before she eventually started the new round of chemo. Derek was carefully watching every move Bailey made

"Okay Meredith, page me if you need me" Bailey softly rubbed Meredith's arm but noticed she had fallen asleep which caused Ava to frown

"We'll page you" Derek nodded at Bailey

As Bailey left, she heard one of the girls whispering "Daddy, why doesn't mommy wanna listen to my stories?" Ava's lower lip trembling

"Oh honey, mommy wants to listen but the medicine make mommy feel sick" Derek tried

"But the medicine has to make mommy better!" Ava started getting slightly angry

"Come here" Derek lifted Ava in his arms, totally understanding her anger. He was angry as well, angry at the universe for giving her cancer a third time

"Is mommy gonna die?" Ava looked at Derek

"I- Ava.." Derek stuttered

"Is she?" His way too smart daughter asked

"Honey, mommys is very, very sick and sometimes people can die but all the doctors are trying to help mommy" Derek promised

"I'm scared" Ava whispered

"I know, me too and that's okay" Derek cuddled his daughter in his arms while looking at Meredith. The pain in her expression was unbearable

"I love mommy so much" Ava whispered

"Mommy loves you too, baby. Me and Emma love you too" Derek held his daughter tight in his arms