Chapter Forty Four - Despair

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As I help set up for supper the ground beneath me shakes and I hear rumbling and the horses whining, with distant shouts. I look at the others before I take off running down to the mine. fast as my legs can carry me. i pray to god that Ross is okay.  When I reach there out of breath I'm thankful to see that he's okay but others are not. I rush to help them and Dwight.

Some were to survive and others were almost lost. Two were unaccounted for, so Ross and Henshaw went back in for them. It took them a while but they were finally brought out as I tend to Paul's wounds.

"Where's Ted?" Paul asks and I look over to Dwight who has him. Ross goes over and through the shaking of heads I knew that he was gone. I stood up and saw Betty approaching.

"Betty, don't." I tell her but she pushes me away and stumbles over to him in sobs.I hold her in comfort as she sobs over her dead husband then turn my attention to Ross who is heartbroken at what is happened. His head rests against my stomach as I told him.

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We return home in silence and I waver in contemplation of telling Ross about Elizabeth. From the corner of my eye is see, Ross open a note but do not say anything. He then follows me and pasts me to sit down.

"What is it?" I question

"Sir Hugh Bodrugan, inviting us to a ball." he huffs flopping backwards and I let out a small sigh of relief.

"Oh."

"Obviously we'll decline." he grumbled and i nod in understanding.

"Of course." I agreed

"Letter come from Trenwith." Prudie comes in handing a note to Ross. Then turns back my way with a worried look as she leaves.

"Thank you Prudie." He doesn't open it straight away, but pours himself a drink and has it before reading the words. He doesn't need to relay what it says. I  already know.

"I will ride to Trenwith." he states

"No, Ross not tonight." I plead with him, nothing good will come of it, I knew it in my bones and I prayed that this would be one of the times that I could dissuade him

"I must speak with Elizabeth." he insists

"Ross, you can't." I stop him and he raises the letter.

"Do you know what this is?" I glue slightly glancing at him then at the letter as I chose my next word carefully.

"Is it about George?" he looked into my eyes like he was reading my thoughts, his arm dropped to his side.

"You knew?"

"Only rumours." I answered

"And you didn't think to tell me?" he scowled

"Why should I? We're not her keepers and you would have only bit my head off if I did." I retorted becoming defensive at all this conversation implied.

"This thing must be stopped" he steps forward and I backward to stop him

"How could you even stop it?"

"Perhaps you don't want me to stop it." he accused

"Oh finally you see the bigger picture. Even if I wanted to let you stop it, it would not be like this." I snap.

"Like what?"

"Whatever you intend."

"How do you know what I intend?" he sneers but I stand my ground trying to stop this madness and something that would hurt us both.

"How do I know anything, Ross? I know because you're you and when it comes to my sister you can't help but intervene in a stupid way or a way that will hurt me."  I shout.

"please get out of my way."

"Ross, don't go there tonight. Wait until tomorrow, when you have a fairer head than you do now." I plead with him.

"Please...get out...of my way." I let out a breath and step aside reluctantly.

"Mistress Abigail." Demelza comes in in with Prudie and both take my side in comfort as silent tears fall down my face. I collapse to the floor. No sound came out as I rocked back and forth. Prudie and Demelza said nothing just held me.

I sit hollowly for hours as I held onto dear life for my children and at some point I find my way back to bed and fall to sleep. When the morning sun wakes me up, Ross is not next to me. But I get up anyway and set about my chores. A half hour later as I'm hanging out the washing. Ross returns and I turn slowly as he approaches me.

"What can I say?" he asks "It was something...I cannot explain" I said nothing only stared at him.

"You must see I had no choice." I turn but stop and swing back round. My fist collides with his face and he falls to the ground. With that, I simply head back into the house and prepare the children's breakfast

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