From Cornwall with Love

Chapter Fifty - Numb

I am collecting flowers  as I hear the mine bell ring from Wheal Grace. Returning home,  I bring Henry and Rebekah Grace out for their riding lesson. They were still you and had a way to go, but I think they will be excellent riders. Once they were finished the two of them ran inside. I followed

"Abigail." Ross called making me sigh. I turn and enter the library "Give me your hand." he insisted though I don't offer it immediately, he takes it and lifts it up. Then eases and handle of coins into my hand.

"Cast your mind back 12 month. How many times did we think all was lost" I stared at him silently "You'd surely not wish to be back there again?"

"Maybe but not in that sense." I pour the coins back into his hands and walk out.

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Rebekah Grace seemed unwell, something was amiss so I sent for Dwight who came and checked her over.

"A mild collie. I'll mix her a sedative." he told me

"Come to Demelza, Mistress Rebekah. Let's go play with your brother." I let her down and she runs off.

"Will you stay until Ross returns?" I ask

"Of course. I have some news . I've applied for a post as a surgeon in the Navy. I must leave any day." he informed me

"Oh, Dwight."

"I must gain more experience . And the war will surely supply that." he explained as he pulled out what he needed to make a sedative. "And besides I've had news of Caroline."

"She is to be married." I guessed. Well it was more of a quick deduction and it wasn't all that hard.

"To a Lord Caniston. he added

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not. It was the spur I needed to put her behind me." he calmly insisted. My heart broke for him as he carried on with what he was doing.

"But you did love her." he gave a small smile

"We would never have been happy. We're to dissimilar." I didn't reply because Ross stepped into the parlour all rugged and bloody. I stood up.

"What happened?" I inquire and he looks down ashamed, then explained that he went to Trenwith to discuss the shares that he had brought off Geoffrey Charles.

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Later that night I was combing Rebekah Grace's hair and helping her prepare for bed, when Ross entered leaning against the doorframe.

"Are you angry?" He questioned. I rolled my eyes as him as I began to braid.

"Little boys fighting? I'm used to it." I answer

"He was offensive. About someone other than myself." I finished and Rebekah Grace climbed into bed. I kissed her head and left the room

"I can't believe we're losing Dwight." I say stepping into my room and turn down my side of the bed

"Neither can I." he says joining me in the room. "It makes me wonder if i should go." I sit down and unlace my boots.

"Why? Your dearest friend is running away, so must you." I struggle with a knot  but I finally loosen it.

"Because I am a soldier. And if my regiment requires me...Obviously the thought of leaving you and the children."

"Wouldn't be the first time you considered such a thing. How was the whore?" I set my boots to one side and stood up.

"She avoided me." he answered

"Ah, like you did to her, it must be fate." I then moved to unlace my dress.

"What would you have me do?" He questioned me frustrated

"I would have you be honest. To her, to me and to yourself."  I answer.  He didn't even know he was doing it, he couldn't see past his own selfless and torment of the people that he's hurt. He tried so hard to remain in ignorance.

"Where am I not honest now?" he held his arms  out.

"Go to war, Ross. Play soldiers. Or stay home and be the hero of Cornwall. The difficulties to be married to such a great man. huh. Now get out of my room." He looks down shaking his head and do as I ask.