Slave of love

16. Lexi and Ellise

ZACHARY'S POV

So she's with that guy, huh? Fine. Be it. I don't care.

After that call ay hindi ko na ulit sinubukan pa. The hell with them.

Pumasok ulit ako sa hospital room just to see Lexi crying again. I hate it. I hate it when she's like that.

"B-bakit di pa din sya nagigising? S-sabi ng.. sabi ng doktor.." I cut her off by giving her a hug.

Lexi. She's the one who stay beside me when everyone turned their back on me. When my Mom left.. She was there. When Lauren left me, she was there.. When Ellise left me.. She was there again. She never gave up on me, she was there the whole time kahit madalas ko syang ipagtulakan palayo.

"sshh. Ninong can make it." I said while caressing her back. How can I even push her away? Kung sa lahat ng pagkakataon na kailangan ko ng kahit sino, sya ang dumarating para sa kin.

How can I push her away kung wala syang ibang ginawa kung di ang mahalin ako? I am not that cruel to push her like what they want me to do after everything she did, though she annoys me sometimes.

"a-aalis ka na ba?" tanong nya habang patuloy sa pagpatak ang luha sa mata.

Everybody says that she's a brat, a bitch. They all think they know her but no they don't.  Kung may nakakakilala man sa kanya ng lubusan, ako yun. Alam ko kung kailan sya nag sisinungaling, kailan sya nagsasabi ng totoo at higit sa lahat alam ko kung kailan nya ako kailangan.. At ngayon yun. I can't live her like this.. Though isang rason din ng pagpunta ko dito ay dahil sa bilin ng ama ko, still I owe a lot of things to her and I just can't live her, not now that she needs me.

Huminga ako ng malalim bago sumagot.

"No. I won't." sagot ko. Unti unting sumilay ang ngiti nya sa labi. Ngiti na sa akin lang nya ibinibigay.

"Promise?"

"Promise.. You should take a rest. May couch naman, dyan ka na lang muna matulog. Dito lang ako." sabi ko. Muli syang sumulyap sa kanyang ama na hanggang ngayon ay wala pa ding malay. Wala pa ring kasiguraduhan kung kailan magigising. She loves her father, dahil kagaya ko, isang ama na lang ang meron sya. I understand her, that's why.

"b-but, si d-dad—"

"he'll be okay." putol ko sa kanya. Tumango lang sya at di na ako nagulat pa ng halikan nya ako sa labi. Hinayaan ko na lamang sya. This will be the last time, I swear.

I watched her as she lays her body on the soft couch, she's beautiful and amazing girl, kaya hindi ko alam kung bakit sinasayang nya ang panahon sa gagong kagaya ko.

She smiles at me before she closed her eyes.  Hindi ko mapigilan ang konsensya ko kapag natititigan ko ang maganda nyang mukha. Sinubukan ko. God knows how much I tried to love her, pero hindi ko matutunan, hindi ko mapilit. I can't blame her kung palagi syang dumidikit, hell I was the first man in her life.

Lumabas ako para doon maupo at mag isip.

Ellise. Ellise. Ellise.

I care for her too. She's my girl. Mine alone. I've never been this possesive to anyone, even to Lauren, ngayon lang. Sa kanya lang. I want her. I like her. Pakiramdam ko mababaliw na ako kapag umalis pa ulit sya.

When Lauren left me, nabasag ako. But when she left me two years ago, pakiramdam ko, namatay ako. I know it's my fault too, I never gave her the assurance. Assurance na kanya lang ako, like what I did to Lexi, I took her for granted. Akala ko sa akin lang umiikot ang mundo nya kaya kampante ako, kampante ako na hindi nya ako iiwan. But hell, nagawa nya.

This feeling that I have for her now, I don't know if it's still a game. Oh c'mon who am I kidding anyway? Simula pa lang naman talaga, talo na ako sa larong ako mismo ang gumawa. I am the master, but it turns out na ako na ang alipin. I'm a slave. I'm  a fucking slave and I lost it.

I don't want to lose her. Not now. Not tomorrow, not on the next or the other day, not ever. I don't want her to find a reason to leave me again. Ayaw ko ng iwanan nya ako dahil sa ibang lalake. Lalaki na mas maayos, matino, yung walang pinagdadaanan sa buhay. Iyong lalaking kompleto, hindi kagaya ko.

I don't want to be that old Zachary anymore, the lost and insecure man that's why I'm trying my best to make her stay. To make her so damn crazy inlove with me, yung tipong sa sobrang pagmamahal nya, hindi na nya makakayang wala ako sa buhay nya. Parang iyong nararamdaman ko ngayon para sa kanya. Para kasing.. para kasing hindi ko kaya.

Pero sa tuwing sinusubukan ko, may humahadlang. I didn't told her about Lexi dahil alam akong magseselos lang sya at ayaw kong iyon ang maging dahilan ng pag aaway namin. Pero nangyari pa din. Kahit anong iwas kong masaktan sya, nangyayari pa din at ngayon magkasama silang dalawa ng Calvin na yun.

That guy, subukan nya lang hawakan ulit kung anong akin, talagang magkakamatayan na kami. I will let him to take away everything but not her. Not my girl. Not my precious Ellise.

Aayusin ko na ang lahat. Maybe it's time for me to move on with my past. Move on and make a great future with my girlfriend. With Ellise. I will explain everything to her. Lahat. I won't hide anything to her anymore. I will be honest with her. I will be a good man for her. And I will be a slave for her, yes I'm willing to be her slave.. forever.

ito lang muna hahaha.
sarreh for grammatical errors and spellings. Typos.

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