Love is Stronger than Blood (Snowdrop Oneshots)

12- paying respects

In oneshot #10 I changed the plotline from Kangmu and Hanna visiting Sooho's grave, so here's the non-altered version. Get ready for some reminiscing about the good-old-bad-days and angst.

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Lee Kangmu stared out the window of Jang Hanna's black Jeep as they drove down a small road free of traffic. The trees lining the road had burst into spring bloom, and the sound of crickets and cicadas rang through the warm spring air.

Kangmu looked down at the white flower in his hands, then back up at Hanna in the driver's seat. She glanced over at him, offering him a small reassuring smile.

It had been almost four months since the hostage crisis and the election. Four months since Kangmu and Hanna met each other again. Four months since they'd both saved the lives of tens of college girls. And four months since the North Korean spy Lim Sooho had been shot and killed in the attic of the Hosu Women's University dorm.

He was buried in a private ceremony, with only Kangmu, Hanna, Ms. Pi, Ms. Oh, Bunok, Gwangtae, Byungtae, Hyeryeong, Jeongmin, Seolhui, and Yeongro in attendance. The four dormmates had all reconciled in the weeks after the hostage situation. All of them had learned what happened to Mandong, Eungcheol, and Gyeokchan. Kangmu and Hanna were still trying to find out where Kang Cheongya had disappeared to, or if she'd been killed like the rest. No leads had resulted in anything yet.

"We're here," Hanna said, unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the door.

The burial site had been chosen by none other than Yeongro herself. It was in a secluded part of the valley, so no one would stumble upon it unless they specifically knew where to look. A grove of trees ringed the headstone bearing Sooho's name. Nowhere on the headstone did it say he was a spy. It only said he was "a man of troubled past, but able to choose his own path".

Kangmu knelt in front of the headstone, placing the flower down on the upturned dirt. Hanna stood behind him.

After a minute of silence passed, Hanna spoke. "Who would have thought that you'd end up grieving for the man you hunted for years? You once told us that if we were about to lose him, we were allowed to kill him."

Kangmu forced a pained smile. "I know. I kept hunting him down because I blamed him for the death of Jinseong."

"I hated him at first," Hanna knelt next to Kangmu. "He demanded you stay hostage even though you had a shot in your shoulder. Then his men beat and bound and gagged you-"

"Hanna-ya," Kangmu grabbed her hand.

"When they put out the field phone, I tried to shoot him," Hanna said. "All I could think about was saving you. Lim Sooho was a monster in my eyes. I never got to apologize to him for that. When I tried escaping the dorm after bringing Doctor Kang in, he caught me disarming the booby trap. He told me he could blow up the dorm, killing all the hostages including you. He told me that if I wanted to save you, I had to go out there and stop the SWAT team from breaking in."

"Did you?"

She smiled ruefully. "I went out, all right. I told them to go in since the booby trap had been disarmed."

"But they didn't, did they?"

"No."

Kangmu nodded. "The next day, Sooho told me that you were coming back in with supplies. He said that if I wanted you to live, I wouldn't do anything. I would have attacked him if my hands weren't tied."

Hanna almost laughed. "He knew how to get to both of us, didn't he?"

She glanced over at Kangmu, who blinked away a few tears.

"And I told him I hoped I never saw him again," Kangmu said. "Maybe I should've said something nicer."

"That was still nicer than what I would have said to him," Hanna said.

"If it had been anyone else, I would have been dead ten times over by how I spoke to him, even while I was bound," Kangmu turned over the flower on the ground. "I knew he'd fallen in love with Eun Yeongro. I told him about Lee Seongjo, the one who was sent by the North to assassinate the President, and how he fell in love with a Southern woman and is now living happily. I asked him if he wanted to do the same."

"With Yeongro?" Hanna asked.

He shrugged. "I didn't specify. He told me that if I wanted to live happily with you, I wouldn't do anything stupid. He said he wouldn't let it slide twice."

"Twice?"

"Oh. Before that, I used one of Kang's scalpels to untie myself. I snuck around the dorm for a while before getting back to the room I was supposed to be tied up in. Sooho burst inside as I pretended to just have gotten my ropes loose. He took the scalpel and bent it over in his hand."

"Tch... seems like something you would do."

There was a half-laugh from Kangmu. "I also told him you were just a colleague. He didn't buy that for a second. He just dug the handle of his rifle into my bullet wound that I'd gotten when I tackled you out of the way."

Hanna rolled her eyes. "And then you claimed I was your fiancée in front of him?"

"Ya, he didn't believe the 'colleague' thing anyway," Kangmu defended. "And fiancée describes you better."

Hanna shoved him in the shoulder before her faint smile disappeared. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish I got to know him like you did."

"He called me hyung," Kangmu gingerly touched the stone. "I teamed up with him so we could all escape alive. And then I still was convinced I had to arrest him. He caught me telling you, but didn't kill me. And I wasn't even there to save him in the end. Only Yeongro was. I can't forgive myself for not being there."

Hanna squeezed his hand that she'd been holding the whole time. "He wanted you to get Ms. Pi, Ms. Oh, and Bunok out safely. He told Eun Yeongro to keep on living, no matter how hard it got. I think he'd say the same thing to you. You can either live and dwell on your regrets, or move on and be happy."

Kangmu tried to stop it, but a tear fell down his cheek. Hanna wiped it away gently for him. He looked over at her.

Hanna was the one person he relied on. No matter what he did, she was always on his side. Kangmu wondered if Sooho and Yeongro had shared the same kind of love. If Hanna had been shot to death in front of him, Kangmu had no doubts that he would use his own pistol and follow her. He couldn't imagine how Yeongro was managing to survive without Sooho if she'd felt the same way towards him as Kangmu did for Hanna.

Hanna pulled him into her arms. "What are you thinking about?"

Kangmu did his best to swallow the lump in his throat. "Something I shouldn't be."

Hanna used her sleeve to wipe away more tears that fell from his eyes. He cursed himself for thinking that way. He shouldn't even try to comprehend what Yeongro was going through. It wasn't his place. Her pain would dull, sure, but it would never fully heal.

Kangmu took a deep breath, pushing himself away from Hanna. "I think... we should go visit Yeongro next."

Immediately, Hanna knew what he'd been thinking about. She bit her lip and nodded. She visited the young girl often anyway, or if she was busy, she'd just call Bunok and ask to speak with Yeongro. Bunok would even hold the telephone for Yeongro for over thirty seconds. Possibly because she didn't want to get on Hanna's bad side, and more likely because she was trying to make up to Yeongro for all that she did to hurt her.

"Let's go then," she said, getting up. She offered a hand to Kangmu, but he didn't notice it and got up by himself. She dropped her hand awkwardly and started walking back towards the car, glancing once back at the lone grave.

Kangmu took a few more seconds to follow her. He climbed into the passenger seat and buckled his seatbelt, then looked out the window at Sooho's headstone.

Hanna and I will take care of her for you, Lim Sooho, Kangmu promised silently. I'm going to make everything up to you.