Love is Stronger than Blood (Snowdrop Oneshots)

42- forget how

Finally, a Hanmu songfic.

Song: "forget how"
Artist: me again

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Tell me, am I dreaming now?
I've heard of heartbreak but I didn't know how

Hanna lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. It was the middle of the afternoon, and the sun hadn't even set, but she couldn't make herself get up and do anything.

Heartbreak will do that to a person.

You were my existence and you were my lifeline
Now you're gone and the sky turns black like nighttime

That morning, she'd tried to call her fiancé Lee Kangmu, but all she got in response was an automated message that his number wasn't in service. She'd tried his work number next, but the person who picked up the phone wasn't Kangmu, only one of his coworkers. He'd told her that Lee Kangmu had been reassigned to Germany for the foreseeable future.

I remember the perfect days
The perfect days when I was in a daze
Every time I saw your face

Wasn't it just three weeks ago when everything had been perfect? Just twenty-one short days ago, he'd proposed to her, and she'd easily said yes.

The saving grace
Makes me stray away from my place, oh

Her father hadn't been pleased at all when the couple broke the news to him. Hanna's mother, on the other hand, was over the moon. To Jang Inseong's annoyance, she was thrilled to have Lee Kangmu as her son-in-law. But for Inseong, all he wanted for Hanna was for her to marry a rich and respectable young man, preferably from a politically powerful family like the Jangs themselves. Lee Kangmu fit none of those qualifications, even though he'd become a leader in the Seoul chapter of the ANSP.

But now it's all over and you've left me alone
How I'm supposed to live now I don't know

But Hanna doubted even her father could have wanted her and Kangmu's relationship to end this way— suddenly severed without even an explanation. Was it so hard for Lee Kangmu to tell her he was leaving that he just... didn't?

Tell me please, where did you go? Oh
Was this love all just for show? Oh

The more Hanna thought and cried about it, the more horrible scenarios wove their way into her pained mind. She only knew the broad details of what Kangmu's work involved, as most of his assignments were top-secret and he could only tell her in-depth what they were about long after they'd been resolved, so maybe now he was caught up in some high-stakes political thing.

It doesn't matter, doesn't matter now
You broke my heart and I just wanna forget how

But the worst possibility she could think of was that he left all on his own volition. What if he was getting bored with his life in South Korea? What if he was having second thoughts about spending the rest of his life with her?

How you said my name, how you touched my face
How you made me feel like nothing would ever change
How you spoke to me, like loving sincerity
Guess it's turned to infidelity

He wouldn't think like that... would he? Hanna couldn't imagine that being true, but like many terrible things, once she started thinking about it, she couldn't stop. She went over every little moment they'd spent together in the weeks leading up to his disappearance, trying to find some hint that she should have taken, but she couldn't find any instance of him acting weirdly, unless weirdly included being more clingy and affectionate than usual. She hadn't been complaining at the time, though. She'd just thought it was because of their recent engagement.