Love is Stronger than Blood (Snowdrop Oneshots)

40- left my heart behind (bungyeok)

Y'all seemed to like my lazy songwriting in oneshot 14 so here's another one.

This was originally gonna be another Yeongho but I figured Bun-ok and Gyeok-chan deserved some love too even though they're definitely not my favorite.

Song: "left my heart behind"
Artist: me

===

I feel my heart beating but now I realize I left it behind
I left my heart behind with you

Gyeok-chan took in a lungful of fresh air as he stepped outside the dorm for the first time in days. It was nighttime, and he, Soo-ho, Eung-cheol, and Cheong-ya had made arrangements to stow away on a ship departing early the next morning.

Forever can mean eternity
It can mean one year
But to me forever is one moment without you by my side

He was glad to be out of that stuffy dorm, away from that annoying girl who had his team leader head-over-heels in love and that ANSP agent who'd convinced Soo-ho to team up with him against both the Northern and Southern governments. The gunshot Cheong-ya had given him in the leg still hurt like hell, and he couldn't walk by himself, but freedom felt good regardless.

And you were never mine to lose
I look over my shoulder for you without you even knowing
You don't know what you mean to me

He looked back at the dorm one last time. He told himself he wouldn't miss anything about it. Some of the worst days of his life had been in that damned building.

You weren't looking where you were going
So you accidentally broke my heart

But to his surprise, one face flashed in his mind. Gye Bun-ok, the telephone operator for the dorm, wasn't a college student, but she'd been caught up in the hostage situation anyway. And Gyeok-chan couldn't help but feel a little bad for her once Cheong-ya told him about Bun-ok's family situation. So he'd helped her out in discreet ways whenever he could, especially making sure that bastard Kim Sang-beom stayed far away from her.

Yeah I feel my heart beating but I left my real one behind with you

No one had noticed. At least he hoped no one had. She'd seen him and his comrades go down to escape through the washroom's window. It was a little humiliating, under her stare as Eung-cheol helped him walk.

And when you touched my shoulder the other day
Maybe you could feel the fires you lit within me

Gyeok-chan couldn't really explain how he began to see her as something other than another hostage, useful only for threatening the ANSP. The first time he really noticed her was when she'd yelled at Soo-ho that just because she wasn't a student didn't mean she couldn't be released. Soo-ho had torn up her résumé in response, guaranteeing that she would never get another chance to be released.

So many mundane memories are attached to you
I can barely think without remembering you
And every time I remember you my heart breaks a little bit more

Even for Gyeok-chan, that had seemed a little harsh. She and he had literally nothing in common, but he could tell she was tough and had been through her own set of shit that life had thrown at her.

I wish that you could hear my thoughts
'Cause otherwise you'll never know how much I love you

So he'd offhandedly mentioned her to Kang Cheong-ya, saying that she could be useful. At least, she wouldn't have to sit with the hostages, just waiting for something to happen.

And you were never mine to lose
I look over my shoulder for you without you even knowing
You don't know what you mean to me

He'd never forget the look Cheong-ya had given him when he brought Bun-ok up. It was almost enough to make him pretend that he was just joking, or hadn't said anything at all, but Gyeok-chan wasn't the kind of person to cower, even in front of the legendary Moran Hill 1.

You weren't looking where you were going
So you accidentally broke my heart

Cheong-ya had agreed, giving Bun-ok a pistol with which she could control the hostages. Gyeok-chan saw her step into her role with the fierceness only someone who's been mistreated for years could have against her bullies.

Yeah I feel my heart beating but I left my real one behind with you

And fierceness was something he could respect.

And when I touched your arm the other day
I hope you felt the same sparks as I feel for you

Needless to say, Sang-beom didn't dare mess with her any further. Gyeok-chan still stared at him with daggers in his eyes every time he dared to look back, but he doubted even that lunatic would be stupid enough to corner an armed girl. The gun wasn't loaded, but neither of them needed to know that.

You said we were over
But I want to think that you're lying to yourself

Gyeok-chan got into the escape car with a grunt as his injured leg was jolted. He could only wonder what Bun-ok was thinking, now that she'd seen them leaving.

Did you ever love me?
Or did I never really know you?

"Babo-ya..." Bun-ok mumbled to herself, rubbing her forehead. The hallway was dark and quiet as she sat on the steps, careful to avoid the tripwires.

Even when I said "I hate you" I hope you know I never meant it one bit

"It's your fault to think that just because he saved you from a creep and never beat you up that he liked you," she said, pinching her wrist. "What is wrong with you?"

And when I got into the car and drove away
I checked my bags, I have all my belongings

She didn't know if, like Yeong-ro, she'd fallen for a North Korean spy. She was scared of what admitting that to herself would do. Would she be accused of being a spy as well? She was already nervous enough about authorities finding out that she'd helped them during the hostage crisis, although she hoped that since she'd helped Chief An Gyeong-hui, they'd spare her.

But I left one thing behind
I feel my heart beating but I left my real one behind with you

"Are you all right, Gyeok-chan?" Eung-cheol asked. "You've been quiet. Is your leg feeling better?"

"Bun-ok-ya," Pi's voice said, making the girl look up. "Are you okay? You shouldn't be right by the front doors."

You weren't looking where you were going
So you accidentally broke my heart

"Fine," Gyeok-chan said.

"I'm fine," Bun-ok said.

But both knew there was something wrong. They might've not been able to put their finger on it exactly, but it was easy to tell.

Yeah I feel my heart beating but I left my real one behind with you
Yeah I feel my heart beating but I left my real one behind with you

===

Babo-ya: you idiot

This kinda just occurred to me... but most of my songs have backstories to them, so if you'd like to know the backstory to any particular song, feel free to ask. I wouldn't have published a song if I thought it was too personal to explain what went into the process of making it, so don't feel like you're intruding. I'm happy to share.

—Suyeong ❣️