merder mafia leader in love

chapter 41

Meredith's pov:
I go back to my apartment in the morning. I go to the freezer and get my strawberry ice cream and grab a bottle of tequila. I sit in bed and watch friends as I eat my ice cream.

I get to season 3 episode 15. "Fucking ross" I take a gulp of tequila. "Stupid cheating Bastard" tears run down my cheeks.

There's a knock on the door. "Fuck off!" I say. There's another knock. "Go away!" I yell. There's another knock. I groan, going to the door. I open it. Derek's stood there. I try to close the door but he pushes it back open.

"I don't want to see you" I walk back over to my bed, sitting down. I unpause friends. "Listen mer.. I-" he comes and sits next to me. I glare at him. He moves to the end of the bed. "I don't know what happened" he says.

"Well I walked in on you.. naked in your apartment.. clothes all over the floor and a tall leggy blonde girl getting dressed.. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you fucked someone else!" I say.

"I- I was drunk" he says. "I'm drunk.. it doesn't mean I'm gonna go and fuck some random guy" I say. I scoff. "I should.. maybe it'd make me feel better coz right now I feel like shit" I wipe my eyes.

"Don't cry" he whispers. "I'm not crying because of you.. I dont care about you.. I'm just crying beca- because I really loved Ross and Rachel's relationship and I- I just don't want them to break up" I say, looking at the TV. He sighs.

I take a few gulps of tequila before putting the bottle down. "I want you to go" I say. "Let me explain" he says.

"Fucking explain then! You've been here 5 minutes and still nothing of value to me has come out of your stupid fucking mouth!" I yell.

"I was drunk.. at a bar because a deal with one of my rivals went bad at work so I was stressed.. a girl sat next to me.. she was hitting on me.. I told her I have a girlfriend-" he says.

"Had" I say. "What?" He says. "Had a girlfriend" I say. "I told her I have a girlfriend.." he says. I roll my eyes.

"And she asked me if she could buy me a drink.. and I let her and it wasn't long until I was really really drunk.. and I remember her calling me a cab home and that's it" he says.

"Oh you were really really drunk?" I say. "Yes.." he says. "Oh well in that case it's fine" I say sarcastically. "Mer-" he says.

"You haven't been answering my calls for days.." I say. "I was stressed.. I didn't want to call you just to be an ass" he says. "Get out!" I yell. "Mer I don't even remember" he says.

"You could've done anything.. you could've called me.. I didn't realise I was that bad in bed that you honestly needed to pick up some random girl to relax" I say.

I take another sip of tequila. "No you know what? Fuck you! I am good in bed.. I'm amazing in bed.. and you don't deserve my amazingness.. so get out" I say.

"I couldn't have done that to you meredith" he says. "But you did" I say. "No I care about you.. way too much" he says. "Obviously not enough" I say. More tears run down my cheeks.

I stand up, going to the door. "Please go" I open the door. He gets up, walking over to me. "If I go.. I feel like I'm not going to see you again" he holds my face in his hands.

"I don't wanna see you again" tears stream down my cheeks. "You don't mean that" he says. "Go.. please" I sob. "Please baby" he says. I wrap my arms around my stomach as I try to hold in my cries.

I close my eyes as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his embrace. I immedietly melt in his arms. I cry into his neck. "I want you to go.. please go" I sob.

"Don't make me go.. please baby" he pulls away slowly. He kisses me softly. I close my eyes, letting him kiss me. I push him away, crying uncontrollably.

"I know you don't want to hurt me" I say. "I don't.. I never want you to be hurt" he whispers. "You being here is hurting me.. please go.. I need- I need to think.. and to get drunk" I say.

"I don't wanna go" he says. "Derek" I say. "This can't be the end of us" he says. "It is" I say. He looks into my eyes. "You betrayed me.. I can't trust you again" I say.

"Meredith I didn't-" he says. "But you did!" I say. "Mer I love you" he whispers. "I hate you" I wipe away my tears.

"I'm going to call you.. tomorrow.. just answer.. please.. if you don't want to talk to me you can at least.. come and get your stuff from my place" he says. "Okay" I whisper.

"Just- don't break up with me yet" he says. "Derek-" I say. "Just let me find out what happened" he says. "You must remember" I roll my eyes.

"Mer, you think that I'd do anything like that.. hurt you like that if I was sober?" He says. "I didn't.. I didn't think you would ever do anything to hurt me.. I thought you loved me too much.. obviously I was wrong" I say. "I do love you.. more than anything" he says. I roll my eyes.

"Answer my call tomorrow" he says. "Okay" I whisper. "I love you meredith.. so much" he says. He wipes my tears away. He leaves.

I lock the door, walking to my bed. I get under the covers, crying uncontrollably into my pillow. I drink more tequila and watch friends until I fall asleep.