The crush </3

the crush chap 4

So today!! .... so today...

ok it was a little bit hash on me.... well... I felt as though everyone had been harsh on me today.

I got to school as normal and went to see alex and ariarn who were by the food rooms as usual. That was no problem. In health we had to play a game where we would talk to people in the class then answer questions about them later. I never got to talk to Kharma. I know sad aye :p yeah I was two people off. So we had to line up and Kharma was right behind me! I have no clue why I was happy about that... I just was. I guess seeing as I'm convinced he hates me now, I was surprised he didn't let 5 people line up before he went in the line. So that was pretty cool I guess. Nothing happened with Kharma from then on but Alex was strange.... infact she has been strange for the entire day. I found that she just helps herself to my stuff but when I want to use her things she snaps at me and tells me not to mess with her things! which, I would understand if she didn't do the same to me but, she does, so there is no excuse. She always has a reason to snap at me though... like not fully shout at me but just have that one up on me. I'm guessing to gain some sort of dominace in the friendship, I guess I don't really know. It just makes me annoyed. So at lunch I hung out with Ruby and Kharma again.

Once again I didn't say anything, I just sat, listened and laughed. Some would think it be boring, to have to sit there and just do nothing but listen. But to me it isn't. To just have that time to sit and listen to Kharma talk is just amazing to me, I wouldn't trade that time for anything. Ruby through the entire lunch badgered me about him, "talk to him," she'd nudge but alas I had nothing to say. "join in," she'd say but again I had nothing to add. so, I remained the mouse in the corner. After lunch I was walking to math when I saw Kharma walking alone. When he walks alone he seems less intimidating somehow, it feels like there is no one else anywhere and that if I do or say something embarrassing there is no one he can tell. So on that note I ran up to him, "hey kharma...." he didn't hear me.... So I tried again, "kharma?" this time he heard, "oh hey...kayleigh."  I took a deep breath, "look I-I'm sorry." I could feel my patheticness growing. "what for?" I could feel his peircing eye's digging into me. "well I kinda..........sorta....well I..." I looked up to see his face brightening up, as if he knew or thought I was going to say something stupid or confessful. "never mind I'll tell you monday maybe," "ok." he looked confused and a bit annoyed. 

So that was my day and it tore me in two. Hopefully monday will bring nicer moments :) :/