The crush </3

The crush chapter 27

Chapter 27 

Today was rather sad for me... I was in English and had noticed Kharma had dodged me all day today. I really don't get it!! why does he hate me so god dam much!! I always wounder if he would like me if I changed? Maybe If I got my braces off? had my face clear up? was skinnier? had a uniform that wasn't to long? could talk a bit louder? was funny? was likable? was pretty? was good at P.E?  was smart? 

the list of my imperfections trails forever and throughout lunch and english I looked at or in lunches case thought about Kharma and why he would and could never like me.... the truth of it all wearing me down so much I cracked and started to cry.... this was no help to my mascarra. Alex noticed.... she is so good with this stuff, I love her so much :) (not in a creepy way XD) She helps me a lot and I sometimes lose sight of how amazing she is . I dare not tell her whats wrong though :/ she'll think I'm so pathetic!!! *sigh* 

well on the bright size I'm getting better at.... well being better :) I get my braces off soon!!! I'm using a lot of products and my face is clearing, I'm also plastering on a lot of make-up (mostly foundation) so yeah thats better. I've put myself on a strict diet to help me get skinnier... healthily. I think I'll buy a smaller top, and that will make me look less blah in my uniform XD. I'm trying to build my confidence levels up and going to try to talk louder... especially to Kharma and well I can't help not being funny so random will have to do. I'm trying my best to be likable now and like I said, a mask of make-up and facial products should help me get prettier. I'm studying hard as I can and I'm going to try my best in P.E.

So.... I guess you guys can wish me luck with all that :/ I'm going to need it :/ :)  

Bye!!!