The crush </3

Chapter 39

Chapter 39!!!

Today, above all days was pretty good and interesting.

I brought some cards and did some card tricks which completely and utterly amazed some of my friends! and in P.e  I was in kharmas team! ....  TWICE! For some reason the teachers numbers always just came to us being in the same team. I was ok the first time cuz the class was split into 4 so there weren't many people to knock me over. I tried my best but P.E isn't my best subject. I don't do it to win, I do it for fun... something my class wouldn't understand. I'm a speciul kind of winna ;) haha na but I can't catch, throw, score or well... anything. But I'm good for moral support. Anywhoo, seeing as kharma was in my team I tried my hardest and ended up getting the ball quite a few times. The only game I hated was the one where the class were just split in half. I had all the rough and tumble people in my team and kharma and stuff so I didn't try as hard but I did give it a small go. 

I didn't really talk to kharma much for the rest of the day. In science I only asked to borrow his rular once or twice and then I carried on with my work so thats not to bad. He tried to help me a little when I needed it but he didn't really know what to do either. The teacher wasn't very good at explaining. Sometime in the lesson though (I felt so awkward after) I dropped my pen. I'm not too sure how though. I clicked the back of it on the desk and it flew from my hand and bounced from kharmas arm to the floor. That wasn't the awkward part... besides when I yelped like a kicked dog.. I do that when I'm shocked or scared. But after that I grabbed my red pen from the desk and was going to use that but kharma pushed out his seat, and as I said, "no seriously its ok I can get that myself."  he still leapt out of his chair, picked up my pen in the most uncomfortable way and jumped back up and handed me the pen. Everyone was looking at me and him weirdly. It wasn't for the fact that he had picked up my pen. I was more for the fact that I protested against it. yet he still eagerly jumped down and trevelled at lightning speed as he did it. Gosh that was awks haha.

Anywhoo. Ruby had decided that day that she was tired of me waiting for kharma and that she was going to ask him whether or not he liked me. I was so scared. When lunch break came I joined my friends and showed them some card tricks. I had to be honest almost forgotton about it when Ruby approached me and asked if she could borrow me for a few secs. After finnishing my card trick. I slowly got up and walked with her round the corner. I sensed bad news and I could almost feel my heart cracking my ribcage. She told me he had said he doesn't really know because he doesn't know me, that or he likes me a wee little bit. She actually thought I was upset with that... but to be honest... I was over the moon!!! I was expecting a - umm she's actually quite annoying... I don't like her much- but instead I got that!!! Ruby is amazing! She'd never lie to me... and I know that.. thats why I truly beleive with all my heart, that he actually said what she said and nothing better, nothing worse. I trust ruby with everything. And I'll never loose hope in her advice and what she says. 

So this has sparked a new hope for me. I now have the courage to be more out their with kharma and try to be myself around him, rather then this fake, polite/cute/shy little thing which is the act I was trying to acheive. But know... I'm gonna be better... I'm going to be myself.