My life feels like a punchline
Ever more by the day
My qualms, my songs, my heartache
Leading to my own dismay.
My life feels like a punchline
And you can see it, I am sure.
With soft eyes looking down,
At lessons you've endured.
You think I am not learning
Or the lesson I have missed,
But each day I laugh along
At punchlines such as this:
Let go,
Hold on.
Be weak,
Be strong.
Don't fear—
Not all—
All risks,
Build walls.
Go limp,
Relax.
Square up,
Fight back.
All girls,
Not guys.
All faults,
Fem lies.
Run past,
Too fast.
Fun first,
Love last-
Love...
Lasts?
Last.
I'm afraid I am the punchline
But maybe you are, too.
I long to laugh at what's been said,
But guising riddles true.
With you, too fast.
The rest? Too slow.
My flaws, my scars,
Yours I ignore.
But my marks,
You once adored,
Taught me what dangers to avoid.
When I saw yours,
I thought, "You too."
But we're divided ever more.
Did you look like me,
When you were three?
In our youth, our genders bend.
But strong and quick,
Your last did this
And trapped you in its bed.
Funny how
We fall the same
But take to different preaching.
Hand in hand
You aren't the same
Creationist's numbed feeling.
Your past is dead,
My future, instead.
When will you understand?
My punched line
Has taught me this and
I'll not take another hand.
While you clap
And moan and kick,
I'll walk out ovation's stand.
Look down your nose,
But you won't see this–
My laughter's reached its end.
These changes slowly coming,
But I must chuckle in its stead?
At every stranger's warning,
And your finger at my head?
You all taught me to fear you,
Then turn away your gaze.
Eyes averted at my line
Punched up by your plays.
Your voice is loud.
Your body shouts,
I feel it's reverberation.
It bounces back
And knocks me down
These echoes' tribulation.
You speak your truths:
It can't be you,
For we are all to blame.
You tell your jokes
About our curse
To not see from whenst it came.
"Just live your life
And let it go
These fears are ever silly."
So I laugh and roll
In and out their beds
While comics make their killing.
03/10/22
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ADHD Dribblings: Poems & Thoughts From A Mind Lost In Motion
PoetryA collection of poems dealing with love, loss, PTSD, disability, ADHD, addiction, depression, suicide ideation, eating disorders, women's rights, processing abuse & trauma, etc. Some are just making intrusive thoughts rhyme, some are just thinking...
