Real-ish

Walls

Cora~

I was right about the medicine still affecting Dami. After our moment he started to get tired so I helped him lay down again.

I'm about to leave so he can get the rest I interrupted. That is, until I feel his hand on my wrist. I think he was aiming for my hand though.

"Stay, just a little longer?" He asks drowsily. How can I say no to that? He's so adorable when he's sleepy.

"Of course, Dami," I say, sitting gently on the side of his bed. His eyes are only half-open as he smiles softly.

I start running my hand through his hair. I can actually see how much more he relaxes when I do that. His shoulders drop and his eyes fully close.

This is starting to become a habit now. Plus now I know it actually helps. I never thought I could affect someone like this. I like it.

I love when Damian is playful, and his dry witty humor is funny to me. I love seeing him focused on his sketches and how alive he becomes when he fights.

Yet somehow, I love when he's sleepy the most. When the world seems to stop spinning and he's just there. Comfortable and gentle like he's completely unguarded.

I see the walls he puts up when he's around others. I really have no room to speak, I know I'm usually outgoing and social, but I don't let people all the way in.

If comfort zones could have physical walls, I would have two.

Most people make it past the first wall easily, then they get to look at the pretty pictures I paint of myself. But there's only been 2 people who have even gotten a glimpse at the ugly behind that next wall.

I don't like it. I trust them, and there's no denying that. But if I let them see how much things affect me, or how broken I really am, would they still look at me the same? Treat me the same?

Charlotte has been there for me when no one else was. I've told her everything and anything. She's seen the worst parts of me and she's still my best friend. I know it's possible that showing someone else may result in the same or better.

But Damian is new. He hasn't seen a lot. I only just let him see a small part of what lies beyond that wall. He's an odd case like that.

I've known him for 3 and a half weeks, maximum. Despite that, he keeps lowering my guards. The walls become thin around him. I slip around him, say things I wouldn't normally say, and do things I wouldn't usually do.

And still, even though this scares me, I don't mind. So far he's been understanding, caring, and comforting.

His overall personality hasn't changed much towards me. He still makes sarcastic comments, he still hides a lot of what he's actually feeling. It's more how he treats me that's changed.

When we first met he was civil yet on guard. A little standoffish even. According to his brothers, that's better than how he usually is, which I suppose I can see when he's interacting with them.

However, as his guard dropped so did the formality. He got kinder and kinder little by little.

As I'm thinking of it, it actually seems a little sudden. If one were to compare how he was the day we met and now, they would think he got hit too hard in the head.

Though he's a little off from the medicine, so I suppose that's not far from the truth actually.

I look down at Damian's soft, sleeping face. He looks so peaceful. Is that peace from me or the medicine? How much do I really affect Dami?

Maybe I'll ask his brothers about it when I'm done unpacking. I sigh as I remember what I originally meant to do. I should let Damian rest now.

I remove my hand from his hair. He mumbles a little as I do, but he doesn't wake up. I smile a little at how cute that was.