Real-ish

Torture

Cora~

I have been staring at this algebra question for half an hour. I don't even know where to start with this one. This must have been covered in the video portion that I wasn't in class to watch.

 If I go to hell when I die, it's just going to be this exact form of torture.

I let my head fall lightly on my desk. I debate closing my computer and not doing it. Typically, I understand whatever material we've covered just by looking at an example, but I'm completely stumped on this one.

I hear the sound of heavy footsteps in the hallway. There is one muffled voice, but he gets cut off. The door beside mine closes in an audible slam.

Whatever is happening out there has got to be more important than this.

I send one last glare to my computer before closing it and walking into the hallway. I spot Richy outside Damian's door, an aggravated look on his face. That look softens when he sees me.

"Oh, hey Cora. What's up?" He says, he sounds tired. He rubs his eyes.

"Nothing much, just wondering what the commotion is," I say. Richy sighs deeply.

"Damian had a bad day at school. Except he won't tell me why and I don't know how to help." He practically bites out. I can only nod in understanding. I've had plenty of those kinds of days. Betty Boop goes to high school, and she has warned me never to go.

"Actually, you know what, are you busy right now?" He asks. I try not to appear skeptical.

"No?" I answer hesitantly.

"Great, do you wanna maybe work your magic with him? I don't know what you do but it stops him from doing, this." He says, gesturing to Damian's door.

"I can try, but are you sure I should? Maybe we should just give him some space to cool off on his own?" I advise.

Different people need different things, but I know I don't like to talk about whatever makes me angry until I've calmed down. Richy has other thoughts.

"Trust me, all that will do is let him sit and simmer, then we all have to deal with the aftermath. It's better to get him calm as soon as possible. You're the best at that." Richy explains.

I don't know how to feel about that. On one hand, it's great that I'm able to help, and I do want to make people's lives easier. But on the other, I don't know if I can help.

I resolve to myself that if he doesn't let me in, or doesn't want to talk about it, I won't press him. I have no qualms about letting him come to me instead of shoving myself into his space while he's angry.

Feeling my nerves start to tingle, I take a deep breath before knocking on his door.

"What?!" I hear Damian's voice say angrily. Oh, that's not good.

"It's me, um, can I come in?" I ask gently. I hear him whisper something but I can't hear what it is.

"Yes." He spits out after a long pause. Richy gives me a thumbs up and promptly leaves with his tail between his legs. Jerk.

I open the door to Damian's room slowly. I find him sitting on his bed, a look of contemplation on his face.

"Hey," I say quietly. He seems to relax, though seeming more tired than aggravated now.

"Hi." He says back. Our eyes meet, locking me in place for a long moment. His green eyes are so full of emotion that it's almost startling. They could be glowing, or it could be the low lighting of his room.

"Mind if I sit?" I ask when I regain my speech.

"If you're certain you want to." He responds. I frown. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be.

"Rough day?" I ask casually. He raises an eyebrow.

"You know that I could hear your conversation with Grayson, right? You are fully aware of my day and my mood." He states. He doesn't have much bite to his bark.

"Then we can skip the rest of those questions. Do you want to talk about it?" I ask gently. He's quite blunt right now, but that doesn't mean he wants to be alone.

"Not particularly." He admits with a sigh. Well, what else can I do to help him feel better?

"Would you be okay with a hug?" I offer. He looks conflicted.

"I don't need one." He says. But he sounds hesitant.

"But I do. I've been working on this one math problem for what feels like forever and I could use some affection." I say dramatically. Opening my arms to him, he looks much less conflicted.

He slowly wraps his arms around me, his embrace getting tighter by the second. I smile, not that he can see it. I rub his back softly, tracing circles into the muscles as we hold each other.

He's quiet, not that I mind. Eventually, and without pulling away, he speaks softly.

"Are you truly okay with pretending to date me?" He asks cautiously. The sadness in his voice hurts my heart. I squeeze him a little tighter.

"Of course, I am," I state seriously. "I wouldn't say yes if I wasn't."

He holds me tighter as well. I can tell he's thinking about something. I just can't tell what it is. I absentmindedly move my hand up to his hair, combing through it gently. I can feel him relax more against me.

"We should establish some, comfort zones. I don't want to make you uncomfortable." He says. There's that sadness again. Why is it there? It probably has something to do with whatever happened today. So I won't ask just yet.

"Only if you want to. We can always do it later. For now, let's just do whatever comes naturally, and if the other person isn't okay with it then we don't do it again. Sound good?" I offer.

"Okay." He says simply, he rests his head on my shoulder as I continue to run my fingers through his hair. This went a lot better than what I was expecting.

From the way he's holding onto me one would think that he's scared to let go. Yet the position he's in can't be comfortable. I start to lean us sideways and he grips onto me tighter.

I start to tilt more and he clings to me like a lifeline until we're laying down on the bed. Everything is quiet. I feel Dami shifts so he's more comfortable. I do the same and somehow we've ended up holding each other while laying on his bed.

Honestly, I think I really did need this too. I'm in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people. I've only known the boys for a month. Yes, I'm comfortable with them, but they're still new friends. Not to mention I don't have my parents or Betty boop with me, or even available to call.

I need to just feel safe with Damian for a little bit. Just for a little while. I know he needs this too. He was in my situation only a week ago, and as soon as he gets back he gets badly injured. It's stressful.

We need this calm. We need this comfort. Neither of us gets it anywhere else as far as I know. I think we need to just stay here for a little while.

I hear Damian's breathing get heavy, he must be very relaxed. He mumbles something I can just barely understand.

"Mine."

He pulls me impossibly closer. I'm reminded of the teddy bear I saw in a gift shop once. I can feel my heart starting to race, and I hope he can't feel it.

But... I think Damian is asleep. He's much too relaxed to be awake. I listen to his breathing, and I note that it's both even and heavy. Despite this, I can't help but feel as though he deserves an answer.

"Yours." I return quietly.

I continue embracing him, my hand still running through his hair. I could get used to this. This calm. This comfort. I could get used to security in it. The peace it brings.

In fact, I might not want to let go.