Journaling Schizophrenic

Entry five: Crazy People

What do you think of the characters so far? Dexter makes me smile :)

As for the song - it doesn't directly relate, but the title fit. And I'm sorry about the video cutting off, but I couldn't find a better one, so I guess this'll have to do...

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Entry five:

Crazy People. That’s what I think of when I think of my family. They are completely and utterly insane. Seriously.

This morning we were eating breakfast - some crispy bacon, pancakes drowned in sweet maple syrup and fresh-squeezed orange juice – when a strange thing occurred to me; no one in the family can cook! So I asked them where breakfast came from and Jessica unwittingly responded that she had convinced our neighbour Filius Burmeid a.k.a Feebur, whose dad is a gourmet chef, that if he brought us breakfast every morning she would make him “the happiest boy in school”. When I glanced around the table to take in my parents' reaction to this, they were just gazing at her indulgently like they approved of this!

Honestly, if I ever tried to pull off a stunt like that they would freak out and start going off about “how could they have gotten such a messed up child?” I assure you it wouldn’t be the first time. Do you remember Dex, that time when we went and got ourselves some paintball guns? Somehow the cat ended up blue and my sister screamed and automatically blamed me when she found him? When mom and dad saw the mess the cat was making they automatically burst out yelling at me to “Clean it up!” “Why in darnation would you even buy something like that!” “What possessed you to shoot the cat like some deranged wild child?” “It was those shameful voices in your head wasn’t it???”

No matter how loudly or calmly I tried to explain that I didn’t do it, they just kept on crying that I could never be their child. I swear I saw Jessica grin as if she were proud of herself. Now please tell me again that you don’t think she is truly evil?

So anyway, of course after that I refused to finish my breakfast because I am not going to fuel my body with something that was gained so awfully. And that is only one piece of evidence in my case that my family is CRAZY! I don’t know how I could’ve grown up to be so normal, though I guess my parents treated me relatively ok before we found out about my condition.

Do you think your parents would agree to adopt me? I mean you have always wanted a sister after all, and your parents have always loved me, pretty much. I could crash on your top bunk or something…I wouldn’t mind the couch either. Well you think about it. My bus just got here, so I’ll have to stop this entry here.

Dexter’s Second Response:

Oh come on Sammi, you are exaggerating I'm sure. I remember getting the paint ball guns, but I don't remember you getting in trouble for it. And even if it were true, you are not supposed to be focusing on the negative. For example, as opposed to worrying about where breakfast came from, just enjoy it. Though I must admit it's a little odd how cool your parents were with that, and I do agree that Jes could behave a little better, but I still don't think she's evil. I’m sorry.

As for your problem with Sadie and M. Periot, I advise you either do your best to ignore it and get on with everyday life, or attempt to have a talk with Sadie and get her straight about how wrong that is - lie if you have to. Of course you know that my first answer would've been to go talk to the professionals, but since you will probably refuse anyway, I'll just resort to begging you on the page (it's way less embarrassing).

So please Sammi consider going to see Dr. Tom Logan Heirsing. Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top? And don't laugh at me for writing his full name. I think it's more impressive that way.

As for Stella, I think that might be a good plan, though considering she's found herself another boyfriend, it looks like we're the only single ones of the group again. Oh, by the way, I keep forgetting to tell you about that, but I asked some of my buddies, and apparently the reason we've never really dated (I mean this in a way that people don't ask or accept invitations, sorry for the reminder) is because everyone seems to think we're a couple. What do you think of that? I mean I know we've been conjoined since about senior kindergarten, but do we really act like we're together? I don't know, I just wanted to ask you your opinion.

Lastly - I think - I agree with you, that clean story was interesting. Maybe you should try to get Marny and Sadie to help you out with your English and French work. I mean, it's only fair since they make it so hard on you anyway...as for Jamie, just tell his jealous butt to butt out.

And that, dear Sammi is all I seem to have to say for now. If I remember anything else I'll just tell you at school okay? But please, seriously consider going to see Dr. Tom Heirsing. He's a professional and he's there to help you; not just with your schizophrenia either.