Through The Storm (Eminem Fan Fiction)

I'm Sorry

Val POV

Sharing my inner most secrets with Marshall made me feel a terrified humiliation, but in a weird way there was also something empowering about it. It was a swirl of emotions that maybe I told him too much about myself too soon. I also felt some sense of relief that Marshall knows a bit about my past so he understands exactly what I was dealing with right now and could decide for himself if he wanted to continue pursuing me. Marshall doesn't need to know every detail of my life, but he gets the picture.

I had no business being in a relationship right now, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't get excited each night when my phone rang. And terrified! I never wanted to be fooled again. Fooled into love fed with lies and taunted with violence. I didn't want to feel stupid, or dumb, pathetic, and weak. I didn't want to feel any of these things, and I still have a tough time facing my reflection in the mirror.

"The first sign of domestic violence is becoming intensely involved too quickly. I'm not going to answer tonight when he calls. I just met him. We don't need to talk every single day." I told Sierra as I laid down in bed holding the phone between my cheek and my shoulder. "Not that we're really involved. I've given Marshall one peck on the lips, and we've talked on the phone a few times."

Sierra comforted me, "Val, you're not doing anything wrong. Just take it slow and be aware. It's alright, you're allowed to have some fun again. I know it's probably a little scary."

I couldn't help smiling as I thought of all the sweet things Marshall tells me, "He flirts with me constantly and tells me that he can't wait to see me again. It's flattering, but it makes me anxious. I know who he is. I know what Marshall...expects from me. It just feels really good to be getting attention from a man."

"Be honest with him Val. Tell him that you like him, but you need to take it slow. You don't owe him an explanation. If he can't accept that, he wasn't worth your time."

Sierra gave good advice.

"It doesn't help that he's so fine with that beard." I told her as I dreamingly stretched out in bed.

I stuck to my word and didn't answer the phone that night when Marshall called. He only tried calling me that one time, he never called back. I was sure he was doing more exciting things than talking to me on the phone, wherever he was.

I laid awake depressed. All the emotions I had been journaling about the last couple of days flooded me like a tidal wave and I grabbed my pillow to muffle my sobs. I screamed. I cried. I felt sorry for myself for the situation I was in. Finally, when all the feelings were over, I was numb.

But I quickly became empowered! I had made it through all that and survived. I wasn't only surviving, I was thriving. Sierra was right, I needed to be honest with Marshall. I needed him to know exactly what my boundaries were if we are to see each other again. I snatched my phone from the nightstand and dialed Marshall.

After three rings, a sleepy Marshall answered, "Hey sweetheart, how you doin?"

"I'm fine." I was quiet and emotionless.

"I'm already at the airport, so that means it's like, the middle of the night there, right?"

I sighed, "Yes, it's after 2AM and the truth is I'm probably not even going to get any sleep before the alarm goes off."

"Well, shit. I should let you go. I'll give you a call tomorrow." He sounded like he was getting ready to hang up.

"No, no I can't wait that long, I need to talk to you now!" I knew I sounded urgent.

"Oh, so it's like that." Marshall's voice got low. "I need you right now too baby. I wanna kiss you, I wanna hold you. Mm, the things I'm gonna do to you when I get back girl."

"Oh, uh, Marshall," I stammered slowly trying to think of how to word this. "This is embarrassing."

I took a breath and let it out, "Marshall, I don't believe in casual sex."

"Huh?"

"I know you said you wanted to see me again and I'm fairly certain that's what it's for. I know who you are Marshall. I realize that you can have any woman you want, I get that. I just need to be honest that I don't plan on sleeping with you right away until I get to know you. I'm sure there are tons of women who can give you what you're looking for. Please don't think that I don't like you. I do, you're really funny and nice and everything. It's just too soon to be putting myself in a situation like this."

The line stayed silent, so I continued my explanation.

"Marshall, I've only been free from him for two months. I need some time for the dust to settle. I need more time to discover who I really am again, and I don't want to become overly involved too quickly. I'm sorry, I just wanted to tell you that. You can walk away; I won't hold anything against you. I understand. I'm sorry I wasted your time." My voice cracked.

Marshall POV

When Val told me all that it shocked me at first, but then it made sense. Of course, she doesn't put out, she's not that kind of girl. She has respect for herself. Valentina is classy, she probably has guys hitting on her everywhere she goes. I'm not certain of everything she's been through but just from listening to that one incident she told me about the other night I could tell it was a lot.

Val threw me for a loop. Normally, I would just move on to the next one, but there was no way in hell I could let her go!

I considered leaving Valentina alone for a minute so she could figure out what she really wanted to do next with her life, but who was I kidding? I knew it was already too late for that. I was captivated by this woman. I would rather spend a night just sitting around making Val laugh than banging out any slut.

"Val, you don't have to be sorry for anything. I know you're not like that. Shit, I knew it the first moment I saw you standing there with your daughters. That's why I liked you."

"Really?" Her sad little voice turned into somewhat of a giggle and I could feel her smile through the phone.

Hearing her happy again made tingles shiver down my spine, "Did I just make you smile?"

Valentina busted out into a giggle, "Marshall...you know I'm smiling." She laughed some more.

This girl drives me fucking insane!

"Val, I think you're beautiful and you're interesting to talk to. I know you have kids and I heard loud and clear that you don't want to rush things, but can we just hangout? Can I take you out this weekend?"

She paused for a moment, "Ok."

We both laughed.

Her laughter stopped and she became serious, "I'm sorry I told you that story. I regretted it right after we hung up."

"Baby stop saying you're sorry all the time. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. You hear me? Nothing."