Confidentiality

Chapter 35

Janus grit his teeth, running his hands through his hair. He was kneeling down on the ground, back pressed up against the wall. Bile was rising up in his throat, but he painfully forced it back down.

Remus watched blankly with his dead eyes, visibly unimpressed as he leaned against the back of the couch in the heroes' living room. "Honestly, how many times do we have to do this song and dance, Janus?" He sighed. 

"Shut up." He growled.

"You can't go back to the heroes." Remus harshly chuckled, crossing his arms (perfectly framing the wound in his chest). "They would never accept you."

"I know--"

"But you still want to go back?" Remus scoffed. "Is this common for you? Wanting something you can't have?" He tilted his head. "Or do you really want them that badly?"

"I don't…" Janus began, before swallowing thickly. He continued. "I don't want to go back to the heroes--"

"Oh! We're lying now, are we?" Not-Remus feigned excitement. "I suppose that's the only thing you're good for, hm? Pretending you're something you're not?"

"Shut up."

"With the heroes, with the villains, who even are you?" Remus snickered. "Do you even have a personality?" 

Janus clenched his fists in his hair. "...You're not real."

"Struck a nerve, did I?" Remus chuckled. "Or do you not know the answer to that question yourself?"

Janus didn't answer.

There was a moment of silence.

Remus scoffed. "Bingo." He murmured, glancing away. "That's sad, isn't it? Poor little Janus, not sure who he even is anymore. Your entire personality was built on becoming a proper villain, but now that you're having second thoughts…"

"I'm not--"

"Stop lying!" Remus snapped, pushing himself off the couch and walking over to him. "You're not good at hiding it! Do you really think the villains don't know? Do you think that they're clueless that you're a dirty fucking traitor?!" 

Janus' eyes widened. "That's not true. They would've--"

"They would've what? Killed you? You and I both know you're too valuable for that." Remus scoffed. "It's so easy to tell. One look at you is enough, it's written all over your face!" 

"You're lying--You don't know anything--"

"I know how to stay loyal to one side! That's more than you!" Remus barked out a laugh. "Don't get attached! It's rule number one! You're unfit to go out in the field, and everyone knows it!"

"I--You--"

"Everyone can tell!" Remus growled. "You're weak. You've gone soft. The heroes have ruined you--!"

"The heroes were the best thing to ever happen to me!" Janus burst out. "Don't you dare accuse them of that!"

Remus narrowed his eyes mercilessly. "The only people who will ever accept you are the villains." Remus shrugged. "They've been your family from the start, you just got greedy."

"I'm a stranger to them too." Janus laughed self-deprecatingly. "I don't have anyone."

"And whose fault is that?" Remus sneered. "The villains are working towards a long-term goal, but you're only thinking of yourself."

Janus frowned. "...I didn't realize you thought of your enemies so highly, Rem." He glanced at him.

Remus paused. "Well," he chuckled wryly, "can I really consider them my enemies anymore? There’s no conflict in death. I suppose I have you to thank for that." He smiled bitterly.