Safe Place // Jake Kiszka x Calum Hood

Chapter Ten.

Sorry I'm a little late posting this chapter babes 🥴
School is kicking my butt here lately but I will be done for summer in three weeks thankfully!!😭👏🏼
But don't worry, I already have up to Chapter 16 written and ready to post...😏
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You finally snapped out of the trance you had seemingly been in for God knows how long and you heard Sam start talking to you once again.

"That night has caused me a tremendous amount of guilt...it's something I held on to, or still hold on to I guess I should say..I've actually talked with my therapist about it on multiple occasions and-"

You stopped him before he could go further, "You go to therapy?"

You could tell by his fidgeting that he instantly got nervous, "Y-yeah..I do. I, uh, started going about 2 months after you left. What happened that night, and well you leaving in general, it really took a toll on me. You were my best friend. Then suddenly you were gone and it was all because of me."

You felt your heart crack in your chest.
It had never really occurred to you that you leaving would effect Sam in the way that it clearly did.
Simply because of how bad you were also hurting in return.

You felt tears stinging your eyes, "Oh Sam.."

He looked down, shaking his head, "No. Don't feel sorry for me. I don't deserve it. I deserved to feel that way after what I did to you and Jake.
I should've never told you how I felt that night, especially that way, knowing we both weren't sober. Well I shouldn't have told you in general. I should've just respected you and your relationship with Jake. But I saw an opportunity, and I took it. So it's my fault, it always will be, and that's just something I'm going to have to live with."

You immediately sat straight up from your spot on the couch, "Sam. No. Never apologize for expressing your feelings. So...it may have been an inconvenient time considering I was drunk and also in a very serious relationship with your brother..." , his face turned red as he looked down again, not wanting to keep your eye contact, "But regardless. You expressed how you were feeling and you shouldn't be penalized for that. What happened between us was just as much my fault as it was yours. It's not exactly like I tried to stop you that night. I kissed you back. I may have been drunk, but I did kiss you back. And I did want to in that moment. So please don't carry all that weight on you."

He refused to look up at you, still shaking his head.

"Sam, seriously please listen to me. I'm so sorry for what I said to you that night when I came back inside. I truly hope you know that I didn't mean any of it. It was awful of me, and I should have never put all the blame on you to begin with."

He sighed, getting up and walking over to sit next to you on the sectional, "Farren you don't have to apologize to me."

You furrowed your brow, "Of course I do. I shouldn't have treated you that way just because I was upset." you paused, "I go to therapy too you know......I started going a few months after I moved here. Actually, Calum and Ivy were the ones that talked me into it. And I'll forever be grateful that they did because it was the best thing I could've ever done for myself. I too carried guilt of that night around with me, for a long time. Because of what we did, how I hurt Jake, hurt you, how I continuously mentally hurt myself, it was a lot to carry. But one day we were talking and she put it into a perspective for me that I had never really thought about before. What we did that night hurt Jake, I mean it absolutely killed him. So to get back at us, me, he then retaliated by doing the only thing he knew to do during that pain, which was also break my heart. He wanted me to feel even a sliver of what he was feeling. To which I then retaliated by hurting you because of my pain. There was never going to be a winner coming out of that situation."