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Chaeyoung's POV

The fatigue I initially dismissed morphed into something far more sinister. Days bled into weeks, weeks into months, and with each passing moment, the changes within me became undeniable.  Morning reflections revealed a body peppered with inexplicable bruises – a mystery I initially attributed to my mother, or perhaps, my own obliviousness.  A casual test, taken almost as a joke, shattered my complacency.

Flashback:

"Chaeyoung."

I scanned my surroundings, searching for the voice's source.  My eyes landed on Somi, approaching me.

"Somi…" I breathed, a wave of surprise washing over me.

"Can… I talk to Chaeyoung for a bit? I promise I'll give her back," Somi said, her gaze flickering towards the girls surrounding us.

"If you'll excuse me," I murmured, bypassing Somi without waiting for a response.

"I heard you took the test," Somi said, her voice soft yet urgent.

Right, her cousin is Dr. Park, after all.

"Yeah, it's not final yet. I think I'll get the results today," I replied, feigning nonchalance.  I didn't want to worry her.

"What if it's leukemia?" she asked, her worry palpable.

"Then it's leukemia," I tried to joke, but Somi's face betrayed her lack of amusement.

"I can handle everything, just take the medication, Chae," she whispered, her voice laced with desperation.

My gaze drifted away. "You just want me back, don't you?" I teased, a brittle edge to my voice.

"If it means saving you, then yes, I want you back. How hard is that, Chaeyoung?"

"Can we not talk about this anymor—"

"Chae… please, just come back to me," Somi pleaded, her voice cracking.  But the weight of her plea felt too heavy for me to bear.

"Nope," I said, my tone flat and dismissive.

A chuckle, tinged with irritation, escaped Somi's lips.

"What the— Come on, Chaeng, I know we can work this out. Just come back to me, I'll handle the rest," she burst out, her frustration evident.

"I'm not worthy," I mumbled, my eyes fixed on Somi.

Somi opened her mouth to speak, but I swiftly pulled out an earphone, inserting it into both ears.

Somi scoffed and walked away.

A chuckle escaped my lips.  "Silly girl, it's not even on," I whispered, a flicker of gratitude for Somi's kindness momentarily piercing my despair.

At that moment, I saw Mina, and the desire for her company overwhelmed me.  I dragged her to my secret place, needing to escape, needing her presence as a comforting balm.

After our playful splashing in the water, we returned to the car.

Mina used a towel to dry her hair, her face partially obscured.  The moment felt charged, a flutter of butterflies in my stomach, but…

My phone buzzed.  The smile on my face faltered as I checked the message – a chilling message from Somi's cousin.

A tremor ran through me.

"Chaeyoung, what's wrong?" Mina's concerned question snapped me back to reality.

"Sorry, I'll send you home first," I mumbled, fumbling with my car keys.

I drove Mina home and then headed to the hospital, the sterile white hallways feeling oppressive, each step echoing the dread building within me.

"I would recommend therapy. The medication will only slow it down, but the risk is unavoidable if you don't undergo therapy. And perhaps… this could still save you."

The doctor's words shattered me.  The air conditioning hummed, a deafening counterpoint to the silence in my ears as I absorbed the gravity of his statement.

"I'll think about it, Doc," I managed to whisper.

Dr. Park nodded.

I excused myself, the walk to my car a blur, the dark parking lot swallowing me whole.  Inside my car, the tears finally came, unrestrained, a torrent of grief and despair.  The silence was deafening.

Is this the price for stealing the four years my sister should have had?

The relentless weight of my illness began to manifest physically.  My weight plummeted.  Visits to Jeongyeon unnie were punctuated by agonizing pain in my back and legs, jolting me awake in the middle of the night, twisting and turning on the studio sofa, sweat plastering my face as I fought back groans and winces.  It felt as if I were lying on a bed of nails, each prick a searing reminder of my failing body.

One day, a wave of dizziness washed over me as I approached the bathroom sink.  I touched my forehead, the dizziness intensifying.  I splashed cold water on my face, hoping to alleviate the symptoms.  When the dizziness subsided, I stared at my hands, horrified to see a drip of blood on the sink.

My nose was bleeding.  I tried to stop it, wiping harshly, but the blood continued to flow.  I rushed to my drawer, grabbing medication and swallowing it down in one gulp.  I sat, head throbbing, waiting for the bleeding to cease.  Finally, it stopped.

"Fuck, this is too painful," I muttered, a bitter smile playing on my lips as I looked at my trembling hands.  "Am I this weak now?"

Another night, another wave of pain.  I forced a bright smile as I made my way to the music room, the only student left, determined to perfect everything for the upcoming foundation week.

"Lalalalalala lalalalala lalalalala let's dance the night away🎶" I hummed, my earphones blasting music.

The hall was dimly lit, the night having fallen.  I turned to go back to the music room, but my legs gave way.  I grabbed onto a nearby iron bar, my body collapsing to the floor.  A searing pain shot through my legs, paralyzing me.  I bit my lip, trying to endure the agony.

The hall was empty.  No one was there to help.

"What are you doing!?" I yelled, slapping my legs repeatedly. Each slap felt like tiny rocks pelting my skin.  "You're my legs, why are you betraying me!" I punched my legs, tears streaming down my face.  The pain was unbearable.

My nose began to bleed again.  I touched it, feeling the blood gushing out.  I chuckled bitterly, wiping it harshly with my shirt.  I tried to stand, groaning and wincing with each step, feeling as if I were walking on broken glass.  My legs trembled, my forehead damp with sweat.  My lips bled from the force of my bite.  I managed to reach my door, then collapsed, unconscious.

I awoke to Somi finding me, almost lifeless.

Day X:

Another nosebleed…  When will this ever end?  I chuckled, wiping away the blood.

And then, the night I decided to tell Mina… the night I confessed my love for her, while my sister watched, silently, her own love for Mina unspoken, yet palpable in the air.

"You might not hear this now, but I'll grab this chance to say it," I said, my gaze on Jeongyeon unnie, my words directed at Mina, who stood beside me.  "I'm in love with you, but you are not mine to lose."

In that moment, fireworks exploded in the sky, a deafening roar that momentarily stole our hearing.  I'm sure Mina didn't hear my confession, and it was okay.  It was fine.

I slowly turned, leaving Mina's side, walking towards Jeongyeon unnie, tapping her shoulder.  "Take care of her for me," I whispered, and then I walked away, the weight of my unspoken words, and my failing body, heavy on my soul.  That night, I cried myself to sleep.