Far Away (BTS Hybrid Au)

The Guilt of The Accident

Eun-Jae's pov

Despite Jimin and Jungkook's efforts to take my mind off of the nightmare I had, I was plagued by another one. When I woke up, I looked at the time, it read 7:00 AM which meant I only got 4 hours of sleep. This nightmare was not about my parents but instead it was about the boys, about something really bad happening to them. I looked down at the two sleeping beside me, both were dead to the world so they wouldn't wake up if I moved. I had to be at work around 11, so I had a bit of leisure time. Though, I wanted to get out of the house early since the snow had stopped falling. I carefully untangled myself from Jungkook and Jimin's warm arms and carefully lifted my leg over Jungkook who was facing me. I used my other arm to keep me from falling on him and swung my body forward. Placing both feet on the ground, I let out a sigh and slightly shivered as I noticed just how cold it had gotten. I threw on one of Tae's hoodies and changed into one of Jungkook's sweatpants, which was a good thing since they both were very good at keeping people warm. I kissed Jungkook on the cheek, causing a smile to grace his lips and kissed Jimin's forehead. I quietly exited the room, quietly closing the door behind me and smelled something cooking in the kitchen. I walked around the corner thinking to be Jin, but it turned out to be Xiumin.

"Morning, Oppa."

"Morning, sis." A smile was on his face when he turned to look at me but it soon fell off, which was odd, frown replaced the smile. "What?" I frowned, noticing the look on his face. "Did you get any sleep last night?" He asked, crossing his arms and leaned against the counter. The spatula was still in his hand, but tucked firmly. His stare felt like it was piercing through my skull, which only made me nervous. He knew just how to intimidate me, he also knew just how scared I could be of him when he was like this. "Hehe.. Why are you asking that all of a sudden?" I chuckled nervously, scratching the back of my head. "You know why. Did you just sleep last night?" My eyes darted all over the place, panic setting in. My eyes landed on the clock which was on the microwave and knew this was my opportunity to slip away.

"Oh goodness, would you look at the time?! I have to get ready for work! See ya!" I rushed away from the kitchen, running to the staircase when Xiumin managed to get in front of me.

"You don't have to be to work until 11. And it is currently," He pulled back his sleeve, checking the time on his wrist watch.

"7:30 AM.." He looked up at me, his gray eyes boring into my blue eyes. "Now answer the question. Did you get any sleep last night?" I sighed, knowing that he was not going to give up until I answered him. "No," I shook my head, "I had a nightmare about the accident." Xiumin went completely silent, his eyes wavering as he snapped them shut. I could see the anguish on his face but he quickly shook it away, opening his eyes to look at me.

"I'm sorry," I looked at him surprised, his voice coming out in a softer tone than before.

"Oppa, there's nothing to be sorry for... Don't blame yourself for not being there. It's better than none of you saw what I did." I placed a hand on his arm, giving him a warm smile.

"But I do blame myself.. I wasn't there and I should have been. I was too lost in my anger towards them that I left you alone. I left you to deal with the aftermath of the funeral and even moving into a new house." He shook his head, in those stormy gray eyes of his, I could see just how guilty he felt. "I'm your older brother, Eun-Jae. And I shouldn't have left you so soon. None of us should have." He said, "Oppa," I pulled his arms down, tugging him into a tight hug. "Stop blaming yourself. You may not have physically been there but you always called and always checked in on me. You have always been here, don't blame yourself for the trauma that I have because it's not your fault." I pulled back from him, I kissed his cheek and moved away. It hurt my heart to know that he still felt like this, I was never angry at him for not being there the night of the accident. He, Chen and Kyungsoo showed up the very next day and they didn't let me go through this ordeal alone. I never blamed them for leaving Korea and going overseas to find what they wanted to do in life, although at first, I was angry at them for leaving me alone. Especially the first month after Mom and Dad's death, I felt so alone despite my cousins trying their hardest to fill that void where my parents were. I felt angry at them for leaving right after the funeral, for not helping me settle into a new part of life. Over time that anger melted away, not only because of Baekhyun, Sehun and his brother but Jimin and Yoongi coming along.

"I gotta get ready for work if I want to get there before the next batch of snow falls." I patted his shoulder, heading upstairs to get ready. I quietly headed into my room, Kyungsoo still dead to the world and headed to my closet to grab fresh clothes.

When I exited the room, I ran right into a hard chest making me grunt lowly. I was about to move back but was pulled into a tight hug, my body feeling constricted. "I'm finally out of heat!!!" Hoseok shouted, his tail wagging happily behind him. I melted into the hug, letting him scent me for as long as he could since he hadn't been able to in a while. I chuckled, smiling at how happy he was and pulled away. He let out a loud whine, pulling me back into his chest. "Hobi, I have to get ready for work. I promise you can cuddle with me when I come home later but right now I need to get ready. I want to leave before the snow falls again and covers the freshly plowed road." I patted his back, he whined again and I softly chuckled as he reluctantly let me go. I smiled at him, taking a step back and reached up to touch his hair. He lowered his head, a small smile forming on his lips as I petted him. I kissed his cheek, heading off to the bathroom to shower. After getting dressed, I had enough time to sit down and enjoy a good plate of Xiumin's Christmas breakfast. At this point, Kyungsoo and Chen were awake along with Jin and Yoongi.

"I gotta go! I'll see you later!!" I kissed my brother's on the head, kissing Jin and Yoongi's cheek and headed to the door.

"Be careful today!" Chen shouted.

"I will!"