Far Away (BTS Hybrid Au)

Missing You

Eun-Jae's pov

I shifted restlessly in bed, for some reason while the rest of the room was cold, I was hot. So much so that I had stripped down to my shorts and t-shirt, shedding the heavy layers of my sleepwear which was Jungkook's sweats. Jin was sleeping, thank god for that. But an hour ago he all but wore me out, our make out session was really heated this time and it went on for three hours. He wore me out, my entire body was sore at this point and the top half of my neck and shoulders were covered with hickey's. My thighs also had some bruising to them, if my brother's saw this, they would be so angry. Jin did a number on me and it was getting hard to keep up with him and not only that, I was very distraught at this point. I hadn't seen Namjoon at all since the night they started their heat, that was five days ago and it was eating away at me. I missed him, I missed his touch, his smell. His smile, his dimples, his arms and the way he held me close. I faced away from Jin, who was peacefully sleeping. I never thought that he would be this possessive, every time I tried to even get him to let me see Namjoon, he immediately would shoot me down. Tears started to well and immediately shook them away, trying to stay strong but there was no way that I was going to be able to fall asleep. After much tossing and turning, I decided to leave the room. I knew he was not going to be happy that I was gone but at the moment, I didn't care. I sniffled quietly, wiping my tears and put on Jungkook's hoodie Jin had thrown across the room earlier. When I looked at the clock on the nightstand, I only shook my head as I realized it was 5:16 AM. I quietly shuffled out of the room, closing the door quietly. I turned towards the stairs but hesitated and looked back down the hallway towards Namjoon's door, I wanted to just run into his room and not be separated from him but I couldn't. They would just separate us, I turned back around and headed downstairs. I went into the kitchen and made myself a cup of hot chocolate, as I stirred the sugar softly, I leaned against the counter just stared aimlessly at the picture sitting in front of me. It was of me Namjoon, Jungkook and I. The day we brought Jungkook home, we took this picture and I put it in the kitchen because I absolutely love looking at it. The look in Jungkook's eyes were so bright, he was so happy and Namjoon... I never noticed that he was looking at me with such admiration and love in that picture, Mark had taken this photo just before we left the store he was in.

I wiped my eyes as I felt tears forming, I took small sips of my hot chocolate and slipped on some comfortable shoes. I headed outside, sitting out on the back porch and just watched the snow fall. It was so peaceful out here, I took small sips and thought about a conversation that I had with my cousins yesterday about their father. I was so scared of him finding out about my boys, I was scared of them being taken away from me. Han reassured me that was not possible, especially because the house was not in Uncle Dae-Sang's name nor was it his money paying the bills. I was the one paying the bills, the boys also helping out with paying bills and doing what they can around the house to help since I also have school.

"Hey," I turned my head to the left, Felix coming out of the sliding glass door. He shivered slightly but I noticed that he was wearing heavy layers, his hair blew softly in the wind and he looked as if he had just woken up. "Hey," I answered, "What are you doing out here so early in the morning, Jae? Is something wrong?" He closed the door behind him, shuffling to the chair next to me. "I couldn't sleep.." I looked down at my hot chocolate, "Want some?" I offered, Felix took my cup and took a sip. It honestly wasn't odd for me to share drinks or food with my cousins, I often did when I was little and I usually gave it to Felix. He took a few sips, humming in pleasure as he tasted it. "That's some good hot coco. Where'd you learn to make it like that?" He asked, handing the cup back to me.

"Xiumin," I smiled.

"Of course, he always made the best hot chocolate. You wanna share the recipe?" He asked, "Nah, I don't think so." Felix poured, trying to use puppy dog eyes on me and it still didn't work.

"Are you gonna tell me why you're sitting out here in the cold at five in the morning?" He asked, turning the conversation serious. I curled up in my seat, bringing my knees up to my chest and resting my cup on the table next to me. I sighed, trying to not let my emotions overwhelm me. I hate crying. I absolutely hate it. It seems that ever since my parents died, I've become this big wet sack of emotions and I didn't like it.

"Jae, it's okay to be emotional. You're going through a lot. And it helps to talk to someone about what's going on, so talk to me." Felix put a hand over mine, giving it a light squeeze.

"I miss Namjoon,"

"How long has it been since his and Jin hyung's heat started?"

"Five days..Today would make it six. Jin won't even let me go see him and neither will the others. They're scared of what he would do if I was alone with him but I don't care. Jin has kept me up most nights with heated make out sessions and I can't keep up.. I can feel the mate pull tugging at me, I've never been separated from Namjoon for that long and it's killing me." I felt tears prick my eyes and even though I didn't want to cry, my heart was hurting. Felix's eyes softened when he saw my tears, "Oh, Jae. I'm so sorry. I didn't realize how hard this was on you. You seemed okay when the others have been in heat, haven't you?" He asked.

"That was before I knew I was their mate. When Jungkook and Tae were on their heat it was hard for me not to go sleep in the room with them, I was marked by both of them and that made it even harder for all three of us. Jimin had to physically hold me down one night because I got so lost in the mate pull that I was trying to go see them. And Jungkook eventually broke out of the room because he could stand being away from me for so long without having anything to help him. Jin has been doing his best with keeping both of us satisfied since he marked me but for some reason.. I'm finding it so hard.." Tears started to pour, "I'm finding it hard to sleep and not because Jin won't let me."

"Its because of the mate pull, isn't it?" He asked, I nodded in response and he sighed. He grabbed my hand and stood to his feet, "Come on," I looked up at him confused, "What? Where are we going?" Felix didn't answer but pulled me up to my feet and brought me back inside, "What about my hot chocolate?!" I asked, "Forget about the hot chocolate, I'll make you another one  later." He responded, he continued guiding me upstairs. We walked past my room and then Jimin's till we ended up right in front of Namjoon's door, "What are you doing?! Are you crazy?! I can't go in there!" I panicked, whisper shouting at Felix who had let go of my arm at this point.

"Jae, I don't like seeing you upset. It doesn't matter that he's on his heat, they shouldn't keep you away when it hurts you this much." He said, he knocked on the door and let out a sigh. We heard movement and then the door opened, my eyes meeting Namjoon's and my heart broke when I saw his red blotchy eyes. "What are you doing? She can't be here." He looked at Felix, "She misses you, Hyung. And she didn't want to tell anyone about it. So I brought her to you. Take care of her for tonight, I'll make something up in the morning when everyone asks." Felix walked away and headed back downstairs, "Pup, why are you crying?" Namjoon reached up and touched my face, wiping my tears. "Because I missed you so much that it hurts." He immediately pulled me into the room and closed the door behind us, locking it. "I've missed you too, Pup." He said, hugging me tightly. I've got to remember to thank Felix for this later.