Wild Series #6: Twisted by Wild

#TBW08

Entry 08

"Ladies first,"

Tinitigan ko ang mga tao sa loob ng jeep. May dalawang babaeng may edad na ang nag-uusap, isang estudyante na nasa dulo at nakatutok ang mga mata sa cellphone. There are three other guys near the entrance of the jeep, siguro'y kapwa mga estranghero sa isa't-isa dahil abala sila sa sari-sarili nilang ginagawa.

Ramdam ko ang paninikip ng aking dibdib dahil sa kabang nagsisimulang umahon. After I told Dax that I want to go where normal life is, he pulled me with him here- sa terminal ng mga jeep. Wala akong ideya kung saan kami pupunta pero nagtitiwala ako sa kaniya.

Huminga ako ng malalim at lumunok bago ako nagpasyang umakyat papasok sa loob ng jeep. Hindi pa ako sigurado kung saan ako uupo kaya nagpapalit-palit ang tingin ko sa mga bakanteng upuan.

"Dito, Tri."

A warm rough hand covered my wrist as I looked behind me and saw Dax sitting already. Nagpadala ako sa kaniyang marahang hila at umupo sa tabi niya. Akala ko at gagaan na nang tuluyan ang pakiramdam ko pagkatapos kong umupo pero nagkamali ako. Mas lalo lamang lumala ang kaba sa'king dibdib nang magsimulang dumami ang mga pasaherong pumapasok sa loob. May isang babae na tumabi sa'kin kahit masikip na ang upuan dahilan upang mawalan ako ng ibang choice kundi dumikit kay Dax.

It's hot. Gamit ang aking kanang kamay ay pinaypayan ko ang aking sarili. Sa pinaghalong nerbyos at init ay hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako sa sitwasyon ko ngayon.

My eyes widened when I met the eyes of the man in front of me. He's looking at me like he's trying to remember me. Iniwas ko ang tingin sa harap ko at wala sa sariling binalingan si Dax. I lifted my eyes to his and found him watching over me. Eyes darker than usual and lips in a grim line, I think I will never get used to him this way. He always smiles.

Para bang nababasa niya ang nasa isip ko ay biglang sumilay ang ngiti sa kaniyang mga labi. His eyes fell and I don't know why I followed it. Bumagsak din ang tingin ko at nakita ang kamay niyang nakalahad sa'kin. Kumunot ang aking noo. Ibinalik ko ang aking tingin sa kaniyang mukha. He nodded at me.

"Huh?" I asked, puzzled.

Bumagsak ulit ang tingin ko sa kaniyang kamay na nakalahad pa rin sa'kin. Namilog ang aking mga mata nang may ideyang pumasok sa isip ko. Hindi siya sumasagot kaya naman hindi ako sigurado kung tama ba ang nasa isip ko o mali.

Marahan kong inangat ang aking kamay at tinanggap ang kaniya. My fingers slid on the spaces between his fingers, making ours intertwined. All the heat and the anxiety I'm feeling disappeared as soon as my hand held his. And I'm relieved because of that.

Bumagsak ang dalawa kong balikat at ipagpapahinga ko sana ang aking likod sa sandalan nang maramdamang braso iyon ni Dax. I sat straight and tried not to touch his shoulder. Kahit pa magkahawak kamay na kaming dalawa.

"Huwag mong bibitawan ang kamay ko, baka mawala ka." He said casually, not in a teasing tone but he don't sound serious either.

I bit my lower lip and nodded. I looked at our intertwined fingers and noticed how different our hands are. My hand looks so small covered by his. My soft ivory fingers strangely contact with his calloused, long, and big tanned hand. Somehow, it feels right— to be held by someone who feels like can protect me.

"I know you're a big girl now pero first time mo kasi-"

My thoughts halted when he started talking again. I lifted my eyes to give him sharp stares. He instantly shut his mouth and wasn't able to finish his words.

Kinamot niya ang kaniyang batok at nag-iwas ng tingin sa'kin. "Sabi ko nga 'di na ako magsasalita."

And I don't know why I find him funny. Not that I like him being threatened by me or what, but he's the only person who can act naturally in front of me. My classmates, every people I met who knows me, they treat me like I needed to be respected. They have to control their words, distance themselves, and they can't make themselves laugh or joke in front of me because they fear that I might get mad. And I thought I had already gotten used to that... not until Dax made his way to my world and I realized how I wanted to be friends with them, to laugh and joke with them.