Wild Series #6: Twisted by Wild

#TBW25

Entry 25

Nagulat ako nang pagbalik ko sa condo ay naabutan ko sa harap ng pintuan si Mommy at Daddy. I had a talk with them before I left for Manila and they were informed that I'm with Dax today. Bumilis ang aking lakad palapit sa kanila at sinalubong ang beso ni Mommy.

"Hello?" Medyo confused kong tanong dahil hindi ko alam kung bakit sila nandito ngayon.

Sa nagdaang linggo at mga araw ay unti-unting nagkakaroon ng progreso ang relasyon ko sa kanilang dalawa. They changed, it's apparent; however, our relationship won't just instantly become so ideal. Alam kong noon ko pa man din pinapangarap na magkaroon ng magandang relasyon sa aking mga magulang, at unti-unti ko na iyong nakakamit. Like the famous saying, good things take time. I'm not rushing anything.

"We just stopped by to see if you're doing fine here alone." Mom answered and I can sense the shake in her voice.

Tinitigan ko sa mga mata ang aking magulang at sa ilang linggong nagdaan na maganda at maayos ang pakikitungo niya sa'kin, nakita ko kung gaano siya katotoo sa kaniyang sinabi. She regretted the way she treated me as her child, and even though we can no longer take back what has been done, I want to believe that everything is starting to fall in the right places now. Gusto kong maniwala na tuloy-tuloy na ito.

Inimbita ko sila sa loob ng unit ko at sinusubukan ko pa ring masanay sa ganitong relasyon namin. I grew up not really close to them and I wasn't entirely comfortable with them around. Nasanay ako noon na si nanay lang ang lagi kong kasama—na sa tuwing nasa bahay sila ay mas pinipili ko na lamang na magmukmok sa loob ng kwarto kaysa makausap sila. Lumaki ako na hindi alam kung paano sila kakausapin—kung ano bang magandang topic ang maaaring makapukaw ng interes nila. I grew up thinking that I was boring, that everything I know is they already knew. I grew up believing that I have no rights to voice out my thoughts in my own home because I'm just a child and naive.

Kaya naman naninibago pa rin ako sa ganitong sitwasyon namin. Them sitting on the sofa of my unit and waiting for the coffee I just made, it's strange. But I'm not complaining. I like my life this way. Them supporting me. Them finally trying to understand and consider my choices. Perhaps, someday, I will be completely comfortable around them too.

It was awkward—well, for me. They seem casual though during our one-hour conversation about my master's and my upcoming first day in the company tomorrow. They also asked about Dax and I thanked them for helping him to get a part-time job in the Germar's. And it feels weird again when they told me that they are thankful that I still chose to take MBA despite everything. Ang totoo, hindi ko alam kung anong isasagot doon kaya nginitian ko na lang sila.

I decided to take Masteral and take the job in our company because that's what I think is right and the most reasonable thing to do right now. However, when they left and I was alone again inside my unit, I started to dwell again with a lot of what-ifs.

What if I wasn't born Delavin? Or what if hindi na lang kami mayaman? What if my parents are just normal employees who strive hard for their daughter's future? Maybe I won't be torn between what my responsibility is and what I really want. There are two paths ahead of me from the very beginning. I used to think that I only have one and that is the path toward my inheritance, but now, I can clearly see that there's still one left path. I'm just not sure if that path will bring me to the world I always want to be part of or if it is something else.

Hindi ako nawawalan ng pag-asa dahil naniniwala ako na darating din ang panahon na magagawa kong piliin ang daan na iyon. Balang-araw, matatahak ko rin ang daan na iyon at malalaman ko kung saan patungo iyon.

I smiled at the bright city lights in front of me as though they can return my smile. Katatapos lang namin mag-facetime ni Dax nang maisip kong tumambay muna sa balcony at lumanghap ng hangin. The city is pretty with its majestic lights at night and their masterpieces of skyscrapers are very attractive, however, my heart will agree that nothing can beat the countryside—the town where I grew up in. No matter how I felt like it wasn't home for me while growing up, that town will always be the place I will return to after all these.