Heartstopper oneshots/ requests

Forgotten PE kit

"You have to stop thinking like this, Charlie!" Tao said as the two of them sat at a picnic bench during lunchtime.
"It's true though, I make everything worse" Charlie slumped down a little, his untouched lunch box still on the table
"You haven't seen the way he looks at you" Tao said quietly and Charlie immediately looked up from the table, "I watch you with him and it's like no one else exists when he's looking at you. Like you put him under a spell or something- it's actually quite creepy" Tao stares out into the distance with a look of disgust on his face, "I think he needs you more than you think"

Charlie didn't say anything; partly because he couldn't think of what to say and partly because he thought that if he did his voice would shake. Giving it away that he's almost crying. His head just felt so messed up at the moment.

"You need to speak to him" Tao said after a few seconds of silence.

For the rest of the day, Charlie kept playing back what Tao had said. Was he right? He knew he had to speak to Nick, but he didn't know what to say or how to say it.

How can you apologise to someone for always feeling sorry for yourself and being so wrapped in your own head that you don't realise someone else needs you.

As he was about to go home, Charlie realised he'd left his PE kit in the changing rooms after PE. His mind had been so pre-occupied he hadn't noticed until now. Sighing, he went over to the changing room block to get it.

No one else was around which only made Charlie feel worse. He'd definitely miss the bus and have to walk home now.

Walking into the sports hall, he could hear muffled crying but not knowing where it was coming from made him ignore it and get his kit. As he was leaving though, his heart dropped. Nick was sitting on the floor of one of the storage cupboards in the otherwise dark main hall. The cupboard being the only source of light in the whole room.

"Nick?" Charlie whispered as he got to the door of the cupboard. Nick's eyes shot up to meet Charlie's and he shifted awkwardly.

Charlie could tell instantly it was him who had been crying; his eyes were bloodshot.

"Harry wanted me to meet me after school, but I didn't want to so I-"
"Hid in the closet?" Charlie laughed at his own play on words, but quickly stopped when Nick didn't laugh too.

After a second, Charlie stepped into the cupboard and sat on the floor too. The tiny space meant their knees touched. A part of Charlie knew meeting Harry after school wasn't the only reason Nick was crying in a school cupboard after the last bell had gone.

"I spoke to Tao" Charlie started. His heart was beating in his throat, "I'm sorry for getting so stuck in my own head that I don't-" He hesitated, thinking about how to say what he wanted to, "I just get it in my head that no one likes me, that everyone's just being nice to me to my face, but then laugh at me when I'm not there"

Nick was now watching Charlie carefully, taking in everything he was saying.

"My stupid head makes me think that it'd just be better if-" Charlie stopped, staring down at his fingers as he picked at them, "If I just didn't exist"

Nick's heart sank and his throat was dry. All he wanted to do right now was take Charlie's pain away, to make him see how special he was and how loved he is.

"So I push people away because I don't want their lives ruined because I'm part of it and that's why I've been avoiding you" Charlie glanced at Nick for a second, but looked away quickly, staring down at his fingers again, "I really like you Nick, but I don't want to hurt you and- and you getting into these fights and ditching your friends, it's because of me and-"
"No" Nick breathed, his voice broke and he let himself cry again, "No, it's not your fault, Charlie"
"Tao said that you care about me" Charlie continued, ignoring Nick, "That I haven't seen the way you look me and that it's all in my head, but sometimes it's like I can't stop listening to the voices in my head" Charlie pressed his hands hard into his hair as if he was trying to get the voices out, "I push everyone away-"

"Charlie" Nick pulled Charlie's hands away from his head and held onto them in his lap, "I had no idea" They stared into each other's eyes like they could look into the other's soul. Their silence saying so much.

"You're so special and I care about you - a lot" He added, "Please talk to me more, okay?"
Charlie's throat was so dry he couldn't talk, so he just nodded. Nick put his hand on Charlie's neck, bringing them closer together.
"I really like you, Charlie" Nick whispered, before closing the gap between their lips.