Heartstopper oneshots/ requests

Nick's breakdown

For spacetuber - I hope I did your idea justice. It's weird that I love writing stuff like this... it's weirdly therapeutic haha

Tw: Panic attack in detail, childhood trauma, mental breakdown, conflict and arguing. The ending is cute though, I promise x

"You're not making any sense!" Nick shouted back at Charlie.

They were both pacing around Charlie's bedroom. Nick had his guard up because Charlie had confronted him about being with a girl at the school gates that morning.

If he was honest, Charlie didn't care that much about it, but he'd been feeling so numb. He'd started cutting himself again; not really badly but it was bad enough. He was relapsing and he hadn't told anyone because who would care, really?

This argument with Nick was stupid but it felt good to shout and feel passionate about something. He hadn't felt that in so long.

"You're bi, Nick!" Charlie said, diliberately slowly as if Nick was stupid, "You like girls and boys" He shouted, shrilly. His voice was tired, but he wasn't done, "So how am I supposed to know you weren't cheating on me with her?!" His voice broke and he started to cry, feeling insecure and hurt.

"Char-" Nick started, taking a step forward, desperate to make things right with his boyfriend.
"Just fuck off!" Charlie shouted in a way Nick hadn't heard before and it made him recoil.

"I just fucking wish you'd disappear forever!" Charlie shouted and immediately regretted it.

"Nick, I-" He tried, but Nick was already out the door.

Nick felt like he couldn't breath, his insides burned and his face was hot. He ran down the stairs, shoved his shoes on and slammed the door so hard it made the mirror in the hallway shudder. Charlie began to cry. He'd done it this time.

Nick couldn't think straight, he felt like he could cry. His throat was dry and yet no tears would come. So much adrenaline was rushing through him. All he kept thinking about was how Charlie must have meant what he said, there was no way he'd said what he said and not meant it.

He knew it all too well. It was the same with his mum and dad when they were splitting up. They would scream things at each other relentlessly. Shouting the most horrific things while Nick hid in his room with his hands covering his ears, tears streaming down his face.

Those memories came flooding back now; he felt just like that little boy now. There was so much emotion flooding through him and he didn't understand any of it.

He paced in the direction of his house, but once he got to his road he decided to turn away from it. He couldn't go back yet, he was shaking and furious. Charlie's words just kept going round and round in his head and he kept coming to the same conclusion: Charlie has to have meant them.

Nick thought back to his parents again, they were both convinced that the other meant what they said and it ended in divorce. It broke both of them, his mum has never been the same since. Was that happening with Charlie? Nick asked himself.

As he walked through the empty park, hundreds of thoughts just kept running through his head. Occasionally, he shook his head as if doing that would shake them away.

Suddenly, and all at once, the tears came uncontrollably and Nick slumped down on a bench. Letting himself sob into his hands. His heart ached and his chest heaved for breath between sobs. He'd never felt emotion this heavily before.

Breathing suddenly got harder and Nick got up from the bench to walk around in circles, trying desperately to breath properly. He looked up at the night sky, rubbing his hands on his lower back, taking deep and shaky breaths.