Heartstopper oneshots/ requests

Nick struggles with ADHD, Charlie helps him after school

Hey everyone, I hope everyone's good. Idk where you are in the world, but in the South of the UK, autumn is very much here haha 

This one is slightly different to the others I've written as if Nick is talking to you. So it's like you're in Nick's ADHD mind hahaha. It was surprisingly easy to write because I was basically writing tangents as they came to me... it's like I have ADHD myself.. wait 👀😅 

Thank you for the request, I hope you like it  

I tried so hard to focus, I really did. Every day was the same and I know that sounds cliche, it's the sort of thing you expect someone with ADHD to say but it's true. School is a different kind of hell for me. Trust me, I know I need to pay attention and study to get good grades. I know that more than anyone, it's what keeps me awake at night, yet I just struggle with it so much.

Once I got diagnosed, mum suggested I get medicated for it. At the time, I hated the idea of it. I didn't want to be that person that had to take pills every morning just to mentally function. I know how stupid that sounds and I would do anything to go back to that moment and change my mind. Yet here we are.

Tuesday, another day of hell. Another day of being trapped in your head, willing yourself to just get on with it like everyone else seems to do. Then failing miserably, getting so anxious you have to excuse yourself from the room and then go back pretending everything is fine.

The problem with my ADHD is it isn't visible, not all the time anyway. To everyone else it looks like I'm alright, I'm looking at the teacher, nodding in the right places, even making notes sometimes. But nothing goes in, nothing sticks.

Most of the time my mind is elsewhere. Over the years I've managed to conceal it, learn how to act in a way that doesn't draw attention. I've even managed to keep my grades on track, but that's only because I spend hours every day after school relearning everything. Usually with music on and taking a lot of breaks, but I get through it.

Me and Charlie are really close now, we've been going out for a few months and now he knows me better I think he knows somethings up. But he can't put his finger on it, so he hasn't said anything. A part of me wants to tell him, another part - the bigger part - of me wants to keep it my secret for as long as I can. I don't want him thinking any less of me.

Anyway, where was I, Tuesday. Sorry, this is something else I do, go off on tangents. It's what happens in my brain all the time. All day every day. A small thought will weave its way in and then before I know it, I'm thinking about something completely off topic. I catch myself doing it and sometimes wonder why I'm even thinking what I'm thinking.

Then I trace it back to that tiny thought I had a few minutes ago and I realise I've done it again. Which usually ends with me mentally kicking myself, getting worked up to the point I can't focus at all and then the cycle starts again.

So, Tuesday. I'm in English, the last lesson of the day. I always find these the worst lessons. By now my brain is so tired from running circles around itself that I'm ready to go home. My routine is, get home, take Nellie for a walk and then start on some school work before dinner's ready.

Usually Nellie keeps me company while I work which helps. I get to glance over at her from my desk and stop to give her some fuss which she of course loves. Sometimes she patiently sits right next to me and rests her head on my lap as I work. Her presence keeps me calm as I work, it's strange.

I find it so much easier to work at home on my own. I can have my music on and go at my own pace. There's less distractions in my room too. There's no one to people watch for a start.

We're half an hour into the lesson which is good, only another half an hour to go. But instead of writing about how far Priestley presents Sheila as a woman of her time in An Inspector Calls, I'm watching Charlotte, the girl that sits across from me at our table. She's busy writing while she twists her hair around and around her finger. Every so often so stops twirling, but then quickly starts up again. She's chewing gum as well, the noise is infuriating but no one else seems to notice. Maybe they can't hear it? Like they can't hear that tinny music coming from Callum's earphone at the back of the class.