Nick helps Charlie with dysphoria

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Heyyy, I'm still here I'm just taking it slow with updating so apologies if you've been waiting. Inspiration from HeartstopperStoryT . It's like a bit of add on to 'Nick supports a dysphoric Charlie' so if you haven't read that (there's two parts) I'd recommend reading them to get background but you don't need to. I've also weaved in a reference to the Nick going to therapy ones I've recently done so, again, you can read those for some background.

Enjoyyy

It was a Tuesday after school which of course meant that Nick and Charlie were together. This time, Nick was round Charlie's and they'd been playing Mario Kart for at least an hour in Charlie's living room. Nick was determined to beat Charlie at least once, but he still hadn't.

"Alright I give in!" He said laughing, declaring surrender.
"Fine, fine but just so you know, Oliver has beaten me before"
"Great, so your little brother is better at Mario Kart than me" Nick said, trying to sound annoyed but had a beaming smile on his face
"Hey, don't put yourself down" Charlie said, putting a hand on Nick's shoulder
Nick laughed and shrugged Charlie off, "I do not need your sympathy!" Nick laughed again.

Charlie laughed and got up to put the controllers back down by the TV. As Nick watched him, he started thinking about the fact Charlie hadn't put on his other clothes in front of him for a while. When Charlie first told him that he liked dressing more feminine he'd ask to change fairly often, but he hadn't in a while. He'd noticed it for a couple of weeks now but hadn't said anything. Maybe now was the time to ask.

"How come you haven't changed for a while?"

To other people, the question was strange but Charlie immediately knew what Nick was referring to. He stood up, but didn't turn around. His mind was racing with options of what to say, the truth was that he hadn't done it in a while because he wasn't convinced that Nick really did mind it. That he was just being nice and would prefer him not to do it, but now he was asking it meant that Nick had noticed him not doing it, but that still didn't mean he didn't mind it.

"I dunno" Charlie started, finally turning around to look at Nick, "Guess I just haven't felt like it" He lied
"Really?"
"Yeah, I haven't really thought about it for a while" Another lie.
Nick furrowed his eyebrows, he found that hard to believe.

"Do you wanna watch Netflix?" Charlie offered, turning back around for the TV remote
"Charlie" Nick said, stopping Charlie in his tracks but again, he didn't turn around, "You know I really don't mind, right? I want to support you"
Charlie turned around again, but didn't meet Nick's eyes.

"Come here" Nick said softly, Charlie did as he was told and sat back down next to Nick on the sofa, "I don't want you to hide around me. I want to understand better. Is that why you haven't been changing? Because of me?"
"No" Charlie said quickly, moving so he was sitting crossed legged facing Nick, "No, it's not that I just-" Charlie hesitated, "Haven't wanted to" He lied
"Don't lie to me, Charlie" Nick sat forward with his elbows on his knees, "Why are you lying to me?"

Charlie sighed and leant forward to wrap his arms around Nick from behind, "I'm sorry, it's not you it's me. I've just felt weird about it"
"But why?" Nick turned which made Charlie let go of him, "I told you that I want you to do what you wanna do. I want you to be happy" Nick furrowed his eyebrows and looked Charlie in the eyes as if they would somehow reveal what's been bothering him, "So it's obviously me that's making you uncomfortable" He looked away
"No! No, honestly it's not you, it's me in my stupid head I just felt weird about it. I don't know why, I know you don't care but I- I dunno, I just felt weird about it, I thought that you were just saying that you didn't mind to make me happy"
"But I'm not though"
"I know! I just- I'd convinced myself that you had so I didn't want to do it in case you didn't actually like it which I get if you don't. It's weird - I'm weird and I don't know why I feel like doing it, it's not like I am a girl like Elle, I just like wearing girls clothes sometimes which is weird and I didn't want you to not like me anymore so I just stopped doing it with you here because I didn't want to upset you" Charlie rambled, trying to make it make sense to Nick
"But it doesn't - I quite liked you in that skirt actually" Nick smirked.

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