Heartstopper oneshots/ requests

Tori P1

Tw: eating disorder, self harm, depressive thoughts. This is for mati_A10 , I hope I did it justice - there are two parts.

Also want to say that if you relate to Tori in this, please please know that you're not alone. Talk to someone you trust, a friend, a family member, someone at work/ school. My messages are always open, we can just gush about Heartstopper if it makes you feel better haha. Nah, but seriously I care about you and I hope you're okay ❤️

Tori was one of those people that everyone liked; the only people that didn't like her were jealous. Saying horrible things about her hair, the way her skirt looked like it was 'going to split open' because her thighs were too big.
The people saying those things never meant for Tori to hear them, but she did and she started to second guess herself. Maybe her thighs were too tight and her tummy was a bit chubby. Maybe she her friends didn't actually like her and only pretended to.

No one knew that these self-doubts were creeping in, she couldn't let her confident demeanor falter. Especially not for her little brother who needed her more than ever. But that didn't stop her staying up late at night, wide awake, worrying about whether what those people were saying was true.

She started skipping lunch every day at school and making sure she was out with her friends at dinner time so she didn't have to eat then either.

"Okay, but I want you here for dinner tomorrow" Her mum said one evening as Tori made her excuses to leave again.
The thought of having to eat a meal with her family made Tori feel sick. She had to keep up her weight loss programme. She had to skip dinner if she wanted her chubby belly to go and her skirt to fit properly again.

"Tori" Charlie called out, running down the stairs as she was about to close the door behind her.
With a small sigh she opened the door again and rolled her eyes, "Yeah?" She said in monotone which she knew always made Charlie smile
"Where do you keep going?"
"What?"
"Do you have a boyfriend?" Charlie wiggled his eyebrows and laughed, but it just made Tori's stomach churn.

Charlie was so pure and so innocent ; he was oblivious to what Tori was going through. Everyone was oblivious. All she wanted was help; she knew it was getting out of control but she didn't know who to ask or what to say. She certainly didn't want her little brother to worry about her.

"No- well sort of" Tori said quickly, deciding that making Charlie believe she was seeing a secret lover was better than him knowing the truth.

The truth was not only was Tori going out to avoid dinner, she wasn't meeting up with anyone either. She would go on long walks alone instead; thinking about what else she could do to change how she looked.

Once she got home that evening, Tori felt awful. She was living a lie, no one seemed to notice or care that she was missing meals. None of her friends at school had commented on her lack of lunch or even that she wasn't as talkative anymore. No one cared.

Her eyes burned and were full of tears by the time she made it to her bedroom. She felt so angry at herself, at her family, her friends. Why hadn't anybody noticed? Why wasn't she good enough?

Tears started to fall down her cheeks as she reached for her bedside draw. She had so many emotions and she needed to let them out somehow. Adrenaline was making her hands shake as she took her razor from the drawer. She'd never done this before, but it made you feel better, right?