Heartstopper oneshots/ requests

Ben Hope: But I like her brother P6

The last part!

"I'm sorry" Ben finally said once he had calmed down enough, "I'm such a fucking mess"
"No, you're not. You're just hurting and I'm so glad you told me - do you feel better for telling someone?"
Ben nodded into Finn's shoulder
"Good"

Ben pulled away and wiped his face, "God, I've never cried so much in front of someone before" He laughed nervously
"Here" Finn handed him a box of tissues that were on the side of the sink, "It's good to cry, s'good for the soul"

Ben handed Finn his beer so he could blow his nose and flush the tissue down the toilet.

"Does he hit you a lot?" Finn asked, handing back the beer
"It's probably nothing" Ben dismissed, suddenly feeling as though he really had said too much and he was just being over dramatic
"Will you show me?" Finn sat back down on the edge of the bath, "I mean, you don't have to at all but-"
"I'm honestly fine" Ben said, taking a mouthful of beer
"It doesn't sound fine"
Ben sighed in defeat and lifted his shirt to reveal the purple and yellow bruises dotted around the bottom of his rib cage and down to his hip bone.

"Shit, Ben that's- that's not okay" Finn stammered out, "Shit. Does your mum know?"
Ben scoffed, "She must do, he drags me up the stairs and slams my bedroom door, he doesn't hide it but mum's scared of him too. I told her that it's fine, I'd rather he hit me than her but he must hit her too sometimes - or maybe it's just me" Ben thought aloud, "Sometimes I wish-" He stopped himself, feeling himself welling up again, "I wish I was what he wanted"
"Hey, don't say that"
"A couple of weeks ago we had parents evening" Ben started, sitting down on the closed toilet lid, the words were flowing now, spilling out as if they were desperate to be spoken, "I was so nervous I couldn't eat, I felt sick. I actually had a panic attack before we even left because I just knew that whatever the outcome was, he wouldn't be happy. He is never happy and it's so fucked because we look happy - if you saw us, I mean you heard how mum spoke about him tonight" Ben added in, "We act like a happy little family, I mean you wouldn't know what he's like when the front door closes. It's like he takes off a mask when he walks in, he's a different person. Completely different and it's such a mind fuck, I mean no one, literally no one other than me and mum know what he's actually like"
"I've never understood how people do that" Finn chipped in
Ben's heart dropped, "I mean, I kind of do it at school because I know that I can't let anyone in. No one can know - I don't know why I told you, you caught me on a bad day, but at school I'm a different person and I hate it because I can see how I'm like him. I'm horrible at school, I bully people - this one guy, Charlie, I really liked him, like properly liked him and we had this secret relationship but I couldn't go through with it - I couldn't be what he wanted" Ben paused to take another mouthful of beer, he was in full flow now, "Y'know, one time he asked me why we never hung out, like why was it only ever quick kisses in empty classrooms and I couldn't answer him. I couldn't give him what he wanted and instead of admitting that or being a decent person about it I hurt him. Like really hurt him and he hates me now. He's got another boyfriend that treats him way better than I ever could"

Finn didn't rush to say anything in response, instead he waited for a second, expecting Ben to say more.
"Do you still like him?"
"It doesn't matter, it's probably better that he hates me"
"So what happened at this parents evening?" Finn asked, bringing the conversation back. It made Ben realise that he was actually listening because he forgot he even started with that
"The parents evening" Ben said matter of factly, like he'd actually given it that name in his head, "Literally everything went right -  I'm doing well in everything. I even sat there with a smug smile. Mainly to keep this persona that I have there, but I was shit scared. I just knew nothing I would do or could do would be enough, he'd find something. He was already in a shit mood because of work" Ben said, retelling the story. He took the last swig from the beer bottle and then turned to put it on the side next to the sink.

"And did he?" Finn asked, encouraging Ben to continue
"He did, of course he did and I just knew that the second that front door closed, I'd be on my own" Ben watched as Finn swallowed, trying to think of something to say. It was weird for him to see someone react to this. For him it was normal, but seeing Finn look the way he did made him think that maybe it wasn't.
Finn didn't say anything so he carried on, "The reason this time was that it was clear my grades wouldn't last long because I can never keep anything up for very long"
Finn furrowed his eyebrows, confused but Ben just waved a hand dismissively, "It's something he's always said. Anyway, that was that and- well, the fact he didn't like the friends I had, not that they're really my friends, no one is"
"I am" Finn quickly said, stopping Ben's flow, "If you want me to be anyway" He added
Ben smiled slightly, "Okay" He didn't know what else to say.

After his flow had been interrupted, Ben realised he didn't have anything left to say. He didn't want to tell Finn what happened once they got home. Finn must have sensed this because he got up.

"Better get back downstairs" He said, turning back to Ben who got up too
"Yeah"

Finn started heading to the door, but Ben reached for his arm to stop him, "Wait"
Finn turned, a slight smirk on his face.
"Thanks" Ben dropped his eyes to the floor, it sounded stupid now he said it so he explained, "For being so nice" He cringed at himself. That sounded worse, but when brought himself to look up Finn was smiling.
"I'm glad you've told me - I won't tell anyone, obviously, but it must feel better to tell someone" He said kindly and Ben could tell he meant it. He realised then that this was the first time someone other than his mum was being properly nice to him, but then again, Finn was the first person he'd actually let in.

"Yeah, it does" Ben smiled and dropped his eyes to the floor again, feeling a bit awkward.
"Right, let's get another beer and join the others"

And that was that. Once the taxi had arrived an hour later, they headed for the front door with Julia and Finn following behind.

"Well, thank you for a lovely evening, Julia. The food was lovely, Finn" Claire said, looking at Finn now
"Thank you, I'm glad it went down well" He grinned, "Oh, and Ben" He looked at Ben who could already feel the unease of going home, "Give me your phone, I'll give you my Instagram"

Ben handed Finn his phone and saw Julie and Claire smile.

"It's good that you two get on" Julia said, "It's nice for Finn to have friends outside of college"
"Ben, did you get Emily's Instagram?" Claire asked, pointedly
"Mum!" Ben flushed, wanting the ground to swallow him up
"Well, if you're getting Finn's you should get her's too. You could all keep in touch"
"It's alright, Claire, Emily doesn't really use it and I can just speak to her to organise something" Finn said, saving Ben from having to make excuses.

Finn handed Ben's phone back with a smile, "There we go, message me whenever, yeah?"
They caught eyes and Ben smiled slightly, knowing what Finn was getting at.

Once they were outside, they said their final goodbyes and got into the taxi. Ben stayed quiet while his mum gushed over what a lovely evening it was and how amazing their house is.

"It's a shame you and Emily didn't hit it off" She commented, after she had finished talking about how wonderful the decor was, "She's a nice girl"
"Mum!" Ben snapped, "Not everything has to be about girls"
"Well I know that, love" She said gently, ignoring his outburst, "But it would be nice for you to get a girlfriend soon"

Once they were back at the house, Ben could feel his heart racing. The same he always felt having to walk through the front door, expect it was different now. He wasn't completely alone. He put his hand in his pocket and wrapped it around his phone. He had Finn.

And there it is.. this was fun to write and I hope you enjoyed reading it, even the members of the Ben H*pe Hate Club 😂 I have a couple more requests which I'll write and publish after this. If any of you have any requests, let me know :) I can tag you or keep them anonymous 😌

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