Heartstopper oneshots/ requests

I want a better body, I want better skin...

Listen to Black Friday by Tom Odell as you read...

He had gone, it was just me in my room. Alone, again. I didn't want to admit it, but that's when the thoughts crept in. I sat on my bed for a while, not doing anything. Just staring into space, letting my mind race.

The room got darker and so did my mind, it made my eyes fill with tears They weren't just in sadness, they were in frustration too. The silence of the room rung loud in my ears. All I could think about was how pretty he was. How much I wanted to run my hands through his hair and hold his face. Then pull it close to me and press my lips to his.

He was so beautiful, so perfect, so strong, stronger than me. I sighed and looked up from my lap to stare ahead into the empty space in my room. I couldn't help but feel as if he should be filling that space.

He had only gone home, we hadn't broken up or anything. Yet I felt an absence. It was as if he had gone forever because as soon as he left, there was a void I couldn't fill.

I sighed again, mainly at my own thoughts and then at my stupidity. My thoughts were running away with me again, I knew that. Yet I couldn't shake them.

I got up and walked to my mirror. I didn't want to. I didn't want to resort to this again, but I did it anyway. My reflection almost made me jump. As if I didn't expect it to be there when I walked up to the mirror. But it was there and I couldn't look myself in the eye.

It was pathetic - I was pathetic. Slowly, I drew my arms towards my chest and ran my hands up my arms. I felt every tiny bump in the skin and it made me grimace. I turned away instinctively, then cursed myself and turned back to face myself.

Still not looking myself in the eye, I looked at every inch of my body. All the bits that didn't quite fit. I sighed, tired - tired because it was late and tired of self scrutinising.

I go back to my bed, pull the duvet open and crawl inside. The warmth starts to surround me and all I can think about it how he doesn't deserve me. 

Now read it again... it could be Nick OR Charlie 

What if they both doubt themselves as much as the other....

Just something different for you... I'm still here... this song really resonates with me - you'll recognise it from Heartstopper

I wanted to write something that could be either of them, it's short but I think it's meaningful. I can almost see the scenes on screen - the cut aways to both of them, empty bedroom and feeling self conscious. Letting the self doubt creep in as this song plays... 🎶 

Lemme know what you thought 💭