Heartstopper oneshots/ requests

Nick's panic attack

TW: panic attack
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"It's fine, it's not like you scored no points at all" Charlie said, desperately trying to reassure a frantic Nick who was pacing around the now empty changing rooms, still in his Rugby kit.

It was the school sports day; Truham vs Higgs and the infamous rugby match had taken place. Nick didn't usually get so wound up that his team didn't do too well. This time though, he was pacing up and down the changing rooms and had been for the last five minutes.

The rest of the team had already left, but Charlie stayed with Nick because Charlie knew that deep down there was more to this than not winning the game.

"But we lost Charlie!" Nick shouted and Charlie retreated a little. Sitting down on the bench, trying to think about what to say.

"I should have done better, I should have told us what to do. I-I'm so stupid, why didn't I do something!" Nick hit his head with his hands, "I'm so fucking stupid!"
"Hey!" Charlie leapt up, immediately taking Nick's hands from his head and stopping him in his tracks.

Charlie hated other people beating themselves up. He did it to himself all the time, but he hated it when other people did it to themselves. Especially people he cared about.

"Stop it" Charlie said more softly, but Nick just pushed him away which wasn't like Nick at all. This was definitely bigger than the match.

"What's wrong with you?" Charlie snapped, "You're never like this" He added, with more care in his voice.
"I just-" Nick clenched his teeth, "I just hate myself at the moment. Everything's messed up. All my friends are arseholes and I hadn't even noticed and I-I feel like I-I'm someone else. Like I've been trapped pretending to be someone people will like instead of who I actually am"

The words came out so fast they even took Nick by surprise.

"I just- I'm so tired o-of pretending l-like everything's, everything's okay when it's not and I don't know, I don't know how to make it right" Nick was breathing heavily now, like he was when he just came off the pitch, "Everything's wrong" He took a deep breath, trying to breathe normally, but it was no use. His breathe was jagged and broken, like his lungs were moving out of sync.

"Hey" Charlie held Nick's face with both his hands, making sure Nick was looking into his eyes. He knew what was happening, he'd been here himself before although he usually talked himself out of them because they usually happened when no one else was around.

Nick moved away, starting to walk around again, "Why-Why can't I breathe-"
"You can, you're okay" Charlie said, trying to sound confident, "You're just freaking out"

Nick sat down on the bench next to Charlie, but got straight back up again, "I can't breathe!"
"Yes you can!" Charlie shot back, getting up and grabbing Nick's hand and dragging him down to the floor as he sat on the floor himself, "Sit on the floor, it always helps me"
"W-what?"
"You're okay, Nick. Alright? You're just feeling too much"
"Feeling too much?" Nick tried to laugh which made Charlie smile
"You're panicking, I used to get this all the time" Charlie said so blarsae that Nick just looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. Like he was just getting to know the boy he thought he'd known for so long.

"Deep breathes, okay?" Charlie started taking exaggerating breaths and gesturing for Nick to copy him, "There we go"

Nick had started to breathe better.

"Now, where are we?" Charlie asked
"The changing rooms?" Nick stated as more of a question
"What can you touch?"
"Your hands!" Nick laughed properly this time which made Charlie's chest feel light
"What else?"
"The floor"
"And?"
"I don't know" Nick laughed again, "The bench" He leant back and let go out Charlie's hands to put his on it
"Are you feeling better?"
"I feel like I just ran a race"
Charlie scoffed slightly, "Yeah, it does"
"Y-you get this too?" Nick asked carefully, breaking their eye contact to look at their holding hands
"Sometimes"

Charlie was just happy to bring Nick back down to Earth before he got too far away.