Your knees gave out beneath you when your eyes fell in contact with the 3 titans and what remained of Miche. You knees slammed onto the ground and your shoulders slumped defeated. Your red and sluggish eyes watched as the titans finished up before turning their direct attention towards you. You accepted it. There was no way out of this. Even if you were to escape. It wasn't just titans you had to worry about. There was so much more to it.
A sudden WOOSH sound erupted from behind you just as a titan reached to grab you. A arm wrapped around your torso hoisting you off the ground and out of the titans reach. Your head snapped back and you were greeted with a roughed up nanaba. She had blood running down the side of her face. She looked like she went through hell. You exhaled slightly beyond thankful.
"What happen to Miche?" She hesitantly asked. Your breathe shuddered as you tried to get yourself to tell her what happened. But just thinking about it forced your brain to replay it over and over. You broke out into a sob finding it hard to catch your breath. Nanaba's face fell pale as she instantly knew. You closed her eyes quickly and did her best to compose herself. Once she got you both far away. She landed you both on tree branch and proceeded to call her horse.
"I-I'm sorry" your croaked out. "I tried.... I just stood there until it was too late and then...that thing held me and laughed..." you mumbled bringing your knees up to your chest. She knelt down in front of you and played her hands on your cheeks forcing you to bring your attention up to her.
"It's okay, Y/N. You tried your best and that's all that matters. You're okay" she weakly smiled before she turned her head to multiple hoof beats approaching. You turned to see commander Erwin and the Levi squad pulling up with nanabas horse along side them. Nanaba helped you up before she hoisted you both down with her Odm gear. Your feet hit the ground and your knees wanted to collapse on you once more. Erwin quickly hopped off his horse and ran to you.
"Where is Miche?" Erwin asked Nanaba who turned to look at Erwin and then at you. Then back at Erwin. At just the sound of his name you choked up. And shoved your face into Erwin's crook of his neck. Erwin's face dropped and he too fell pale. His grip around you tighten as he held you close.
The ride back to within the walls was silent. You rode on the back of Erwin's horse with him with your arms wrapped tightly around your waist. Every so often he'd turn to check on you.
Once you had entered the walls and headed towards the stables, Erwin hopped off his horse and helped you down. You were instantly bombarded with Sasha and Connie running up to you hugging you tightly. Basically screaming in your eyes. Jean was walking up behind them and he could instantly tell you were absolutely not okay.
"Guys! Guys!" Jean called out to them. "Give her some space." He ordered grabbing Connie by the collar and pulling him back. Once he separated them from you, he pull you into a hug and you wanted to break down again. Sure you were close with Miche. Shit you barely even talked to him but he was a person. And person you knew, someone you called your acquaintance, and you watched his life get ripped away from him. You watched him get torn apart by titans.
"Hey kirstein, I think it's best I get her to the room to lay down. I'll let you know when you can come check on her." Erwin spoke as Jean pulled away and gave you your space. He nodded and sent you a small 'I'm here if you need anything smile'. Erwin wrapped his around around you and nudged you asking if you were ready to go. You said nothing and began walking. Your steps lazy and heavy. You reached Erwin's room and he helped you shower, change into comfortable clothes, and laid you in bed.
And you stayed there for days. It seemed like a month but in reality you were only there for 3 days. Maybe people tried to come check on you but Erwin turned them away because he realized you weren't ready for people.
You laid in Erwin's bed staring out the window one morning, 4 days has passed and you were honestly growing tired of the no interactions. You told yourself you needed to go see everyone. Because frankly, you missed them. You sat at the edge of the bed readying yourself to get up and shower.
You dressed yourself after your shower and made your way towards the mess hall. On your way down the hall, you passed captain Levi who would've normally not acknowledged you but today he did.
"Are you hanging in there?" He asked once he realized you noticed him. You looked up and smiled gently.
"I'll be okay" you nodded "thank you for checking in. Never would've taken you ask the caring type."
"Don't push it." He rolled his eyes and a small smile appeared on his face.
"Thank you" you smiled and walked passed him until you were in the frame of the doorway. The chatter of the mess hall was somehow music to your ears. People, alive and well. Sasha, Connie and Jean waved you down beyond excited to see you. You slightly smiled and made your way over to them. Jean slid over on the bench chair and you sat down.
"Smalls!!" Connie smiled. "It's good to see you out and about. You doing alright?"
"Well I guess as good as I can be right now" you shrugged your shoulders. "Can't wallow is my ptsd forever." You tried to joke but honestly didn't know how to word it. "I should know, it's what we signed up for. Death, to be surrounded by it, experience it."
"No hey stop." Jean huffed placing his hand on your shoulder. "You literally witnessed something mentally scarring. It's okay to feel the way you do about it. And he wasn't just a stranger, he was a scout that we looked up to."
"How's commander Erwin taking it?" Sasha asked quietly.
"He tries to act the same whenever he's in front of me but I know he's hurting. Him and Miche have been through a lot together." You spoke fumbling through fingers together in your lap. "He's more worried about me than himself."
"He is so pussy whipped." Connie suddenly blurted forgetting the fact of the whole conversation. Sasha elbowed him hard in the ribs. "Hey what the fuck!?" His face dropped when he suddenly remembered. "Oh shit I'm sorry. My bad. Wrong timing." He finished nervously
"Yeah no kidding." Jean spoke lowering his brows at Connie. At least they were still okay, they didn't get hurt and you didn't lose them. God you were beyond thankful for that.
YOU ARE READING
You're Something Special, Cadet. Erwin X Reader
Fanfiction*UNDER HEAVY EDITING* It's the classic. You are the normal young girl who had the heart to join the scout regiment, to make a change. You weren't top of your class, you weren't great at any of the areas you needed to be but you were determined to ma...
