Once your ODM gear had swung you up to gaining the height advantage, you took that time to quickly pull out your blade. But doing so, you fumbled to grasp it and dropped your blade, watching it tumble towards the ground."Fuck!" You breathed out, panicking seeing that you were now nearly inches from the titan whos hands happen to also be reaching for you. You shot your other hook on your gear clinging it to the same wall, where feet away from your right hook was the titans hand. Activating your gear to send you flying left out of the titan's reach, you swung back down towards the ground aiming for your blade.
Passing by it, you managed to wrap your fingers around it successfully. You released your right hook of the ODM gear and sent it back out to rehook to a better height. And with a swipe of the blade, the nape of the neck was severed with blood splattering out of it. You watched it tumble but you didn't realize how close YOU had gotten to ground. In which you then tumbled hard, rolling inches away from the titan.
You blinked away the dirt from your eyes, sitting up and crawling backwards from the Titans whos face was facing directly at you. You were gasping for air at this point. Your anxiety had spiked through the roof causing it to become harder to collect air into your lungs. You felt a hand grasp your shoulder gently and you turned to see commander Erwin kneeling down next to you.
"Easy now, Cadet. That was outstanding." He smiled encouragingly. His icy blue eyes scanning your panicked expression. "We're done for today" he parted your shoulder as he stood straight reaching his hand out to help you up. You paced your breathing slightly before connecting your hand with the Commanders as he hoisted you up.
"That's it?" You huffed still short of breathe.
"Yes, you did what I knew you could do" he smiled as he grabbed the reins of his horse and grabbing yours in attempts to hand them off to you. "I just had to make you see it yourself"
"I'm sorry commander but what I saw was me almost getting myself killed!"
"And you cheated death. If you do it once, you can have a higher chance of doing it again. Soloing gives you different results than being in a larger quantity. I knew from the moment I made eye contact with you at the recruitment, that there was more your fear was masking" he spoke as he pulled himself upon his horse staring down at you.
You spoke nothing after, hopping on horseback and following commander Erwin. The rest of the ride back to within the walls had been a silent one. No words exchanged between the two of you. Once you both had arrived back inside safety, commander Erwin departed as soon as you both made it to the stables. That was the only time he ever took only you beyond the walls.
The next few weeks consisted of constant training, hand to hand, and more exclusive titan training. All to prepare you for the expedition that was to come around the corner a whole lot faster than you could process. You rarely saw the Commander due to him being overwhelmed with paperwork and putting together the upcoming expedition. Thought whenever he saw you, he chose to avoid conversation and it threw you off entirely.
The night before the expedition, your mind was restless from stress, you were nervous and beyond hesitant. 2am rolled around and you were tossing and turning in your bed. It got to a point where Sasha had became aggravated with your constant movement.
"Sorry Sash, I'll leave the room" you whispered after she groaned out of annoyance. You rolled out of bed, throwing on a jacket as you went towards the door. You grabbed the knob quietly twisting it to open. You exited closing it behind you and venturing down the hall trying to keep your steps quiet as you passed the doors.
You wandered into the quiet and cold mess hall, where you stuffed your hands in your pockets, slowly walking around the dark room. You began to hum a soft melody as an attempt to calm your overthinking brain. Your soft hums echoed the large room.
"That song you're humming-" a sudden quiet and husky voice interrupted the silence of the mess hall that surrounded you. You jumped, turning your body to face where the voice had emerged from, the main doorway. Out stepped the commander.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to wake you, I just couldn't sleep so I thought I'd just go for a walk to tire myself. I'm apologize if I was being too loud." You mumbled quietly and nervous being this was the first time he had engaged a conversation with you since your first day.
"Oh nonsense. That's song. It's been a long time." He smiled, crossing his arms approaching you a few more steps.
"You know that song?" You questioned in which he scoffed slightly, helping himself to sit on one of the tables across from you.
"YN, I'm old but Music is still new and there aren't many songs out there. Though that tune can be pointed out like a needle in the hay stack" he smiled, leaning his elbows onto his knees leaning forward off the tabletop.
"My father saved up a lot of his money so my mother could have a Vinyl Record player. The minute they came out with them, my father bought one and a Vinyl Record disk with that very song on it" you smiled as you lowered your head thinking about your parents. "I wish I could go see them...." You paused as a small chuckled left your lips. "They used to call me an old soul stuck in a 20 year old's body" you laughed.
The commanders eyes were glued to you as he carefully listen to you talk about your memories from home.
"Music is lovely" he responded as he adjusted his seating.
"I also share the same feeling for it." you smiled "Why are you up commander? Some rest would do you good before the expedition tomorrow" you spoke as you helped yourself on top of the table across from him.
"I could say the same for you Cadet" he responded raising his brow at you.
"I couldn't sleep. My mind is on repeat" you admitted.
"About tomorrow yes?" He asked
"Yes sir".
"I wouldn't make you go if I didn't think you weren't Ready" he spoke as he cocked his head slightly seeing your eyes fall to the ground.
"Why have you avoided me since that day out beyond the walls?" You suddenly blurted out and instantly regretted letting those words slip out of your mouth. Your hand flew up to cover your mouth, while your eyes were widened with embarrassment. "Don't answer that, I'm sorry. That's was very rude of me, I-"
"No no it's okay YN. I understand why you're curious" he responded gently.
"I don't even know why I asked that. I'm sure it's because you're a busy commander." You added trying your best to get him to change the subject out of fear of his answer.
"You're something Special, Cadet.... The way you think, the way you move, the way you speak. You're dangerous to me" he began
"Dangerous?" You asked wildly confused.
"I'm afraid to become vulnerable. As a Commander I cannot let my guard down but you......" he paused exhaling sharply, his eyes dancing from your face to you overall. "....Have been on my mind since that day I took you beyond the walls. I told myself if i did my best to avoid you, you'd leave my mind. I was wrong."

YOU ARE READING
You're Something Special, Cadet. Erwin X Reader
Fanfiction*UNDER HEAVY EDITING* It's the classic. You are the normal young girl who had the heart to join the scout regiment, to make a change. You weren't top of your class, you weren't great at any of the areas you needed to be but you were determined to ma...