Chapter 16. Hello again

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After retrieving your food trays from the food line, you and the group made your way towards the table.

"I can physically feel my body shutting down." Sasha groaned either a mouth full of bread as she plopped on the seat slightly slamming her tray.

"You Kept up today, we're proud of you." Jean smiled nudging your shoulder.

"Okay well don't point it out, that's embarrassing. That's not something to be proud of." You furrowed your brow. "I should be catching up by now. Not falling behind." You huffed. "I guess I've just hadn't had the urge to wanna do better." You shrugged your shoulders moving the food on your tray around with your utensil.

"Well trainings been hard as fuck so you actually are doing great."  Connie spoke placing his water back to the table. You sent him a sly smile before picking up your water to take a sip.

After dinner, the guys parted ways towards their barracks room where as you and Sasha made your way down to yours.

"I need to eat more to make up for the weight I'm losing training so much." Sasha mumbled which sent you into a chuckle.

"You haven't been hangry in awhile, looks like you're doing good with controlling that." You turned your head to look at her quickly. In doing so, someone from a barrack room to your side had opened the door and merged out into the hallway knocking into you which knocking you down whilst almost knocking Sasha over.

From the ground your eyes shot up in disbelief that this person purged out of the room without looking.

"Watch it whore." The male scout grumbled angrily.

"Excuse me?!" You spat as Sasha helped you off the ground "what's your problem?"

"Everyone else here had to earn their place." The scout growled

"What are you implying?" You barked back

"You're weak, you're nothing special and the only reason you made it into the scouts is because you slept your way in." He snapped back.

But before you or Sasha could say anything, someone flew pasted the both of you going directly towards the male. A hand flew around the scouts neck as the scouts back connected with the wall. The face to the person was a pissed off Commander Erwin.

Your eyes widened as you looked at Sasha and then back at the scout with the commander on him.

"You watch that mouth of yours or so god help me because you will not like what will happen if you spit such filthy words to her again." The commander growled. "I have half a mind to remove you from the scouts right." The commander growled in a tone you never heard from him before.

Sasha turned her head to look at you as her mouth laid wide open. The commander drop his hand from the scouts throat as he took a step back fixing his now messed up blonde hair. The scouts eyes were widened but filled with rage but he scurried off without further confrontation. The commander kept his back to you as if he were in a thought trance.

"Cadet Braus-" the commander began to speak

"I saw nothing sir, goodnight." She huffed speed walking down the hall towards her room leaving you and the commander alone in the hallway.

"Are you okay?" He asked slightly turning to face you now, his eyes scanning you up and down as if he were checking on you.

"I'm fine, thanks" you responded adjusting your clothes slightly. "You know, you didn't have to step in-"

"I'm aware." He cut you with his eyes falling to the ground as if he were in conflict with himself. "I could not just sit there and listen to him speak of you like that." A few minutes of silence lingered between the two of you he broke it again.

"I'm sorry we never got to conclude-"

"I know. It's okay. I understand it couldn't happen. We knew that from the start, Sir." You gulped fumbling with your fingers. "You could lose your job you know...."

"That wasn't my main focus in the moment...." He exhaled softly. "Only if you were to say you witnessed it. He could go to Zachary but it would go no where without eye witnesses. Zachary has been keeping tabs on me, since he walked into you in my bedroom..."

"Well I didn't plan on saying anything sir." You nodded lightly. "Your secrets always safe with me." You sent him a small reassuring smile. "Have a good night Commander." You spoke as you started to walk in the direction of your room leaving the commander to stand alone.

"Wait..." he called out as he turned to chase after you eventually reaching you and grabbing your arm whisking you around.

"What?" You asked furrowing your brows. Your eyes trailer up his body to his shadowed eyes. The way he still looked at you, the way he so gently would touch you. His lips parted as his breath entered and exited. His eyes scanned your features as if he were taking them in.

"I just- I-" he began but quickly leaned in pressing his lips quickly against yours. The familiar feeling of his soft lips made your legs shiver. You knew it was wrong and you should stop it but something told you to let it continue. His hands rose to your cheeks cupping them softly as your hands laid against his toned chest. You pulled back to catch a breathe.

"Erwin, we can't. You know we can't." You spoke with hurt filling your voice. He brought his pointer finger placing it directly in the middle of your lips. He removed his finger slowly replacing it with his lips once more. Your body fell weak at the abrupt kiss. It felt wrong. No it didn't feel wrong. It felt right in so many ways but it was something that was 'wrong' to everyone else.

Erwin brought his hands down wrapping them around your waist towards your lower back bringing you closer to him. A door down the hall had clicked and Erwin quickly parted from you keeping one of his hands on your waist. After a few moments of nothing, he grabbed your hand and started to lead you down the hall. You were in no way going to protest. You craved him, your body craved him and he craved you just as bad. If not, more.

This was the night you gave all of yourself to Erwin and you didn't regret it one bit. It was everything you imagined it to be. He was gentle, his skin soft, the way his eyes looked at you and only you. It was like a dream and you wish you didn't have to 'wake up'

You never understood the restrictions. If you were to sign your life away to death, why would loving someone be permitted?

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