Buckynat Oneshots

Sleep

Natasha, on most nights, was a light sleeper from years of being taught to expect the unexpected. Even at her most relaxed she still would find her eyes fluttering open briefly for even a second before determining no threat. Sometimes it was so subconscious she didn't even remember it happening if it was so insignificant. Like if the birds outside the window chirped too loudly, or she forgot to silence her phone and a notification came through, or if James arrived home late and crawled into bed, tucking her in tighter.

They had rekindled, so to speak. Neither had been in any kind of serious committed relationship before, but what they had now was as close to that as they'd ever experienced. They had slowly fallen back into the habit of magnetising to one another now things had changed. They'd changed. They were no longer the Black Widow and the Winter Soldier, but some inner connection drew them in despite initially fighting it, in denial as a result of their past.

But the demons from their minds were easier to control now, the past filling them with less doubt now that their minds were their own and the feelings were similar, the love just as strong.

But they didn't quite admit that to everyone.

They were each other's secret, at least for now. Until both of them found a way to break the news and not only deal with the friendly ridicule from their peers, but adapt in their own selves to be whatever it was they were meant to be.

James was the only one that could slip around with her hearing. Sneaking up behind her to give her a gentle scare, or simply being so quite she hadn't realised he'd entered the same room as her. It was a skill he had that he didn't even realise he was using sometimes, and over time he realised it was training embedded in him that he couldn't get rid of.

A shadow. A ghost. Invisible.

Despite the Wakandan's help, occasionally other parts of his past seemed to take a hold of him, darker more sinister skills he had tried to forget. He wanted to forget. He fully believed Shuri had eradicated them from his mind, on any given day he couldn't imagine himself performing them. Yet, sometimes, rarely, a switch in him seemed to flip and he was the Winter soldier once more.

It would only be for a few hours, like a faulty wire in his brain causing him to fall into old ways, but he had known Shuri had done all that she could. Even with a brief visit back to Wakanda to discuss these moments, despite her best effort there was no other solutions to the problem. There was no fix other that didn't call for ending the Winter soldier, and James, for good. A total wipe of his mind that meant he'd forget everything and everyone he'd known and learned after becoming the Winter Soldier.

Total reset.

Only Natasha knew about his struggle within his mind, and she kept that to herself. Maybe she was in denial too, maybe she just understood it deeper than anyone else could or would. They didn't talk about it on that level, only that she was there to clean up any mess than he made without judgement and provide comfort.

She'd hacked into police systems when a renowned politician's home was burgled, realising the important documents, which turned out to be his statements on his illegal spending, weren't missing, but held in the metal grip of a sleeping James who was passed out on the sofa. They had been researching him, looking into something the politician had been a part of, so she wasn't immediately concerned. There was just better ways to gain the information, ways that weren't so...abrasive.

She'd soothed him when a random partygoer was found beaten beyond recognition down by the river, who had been in a coma ever since and then had his life support switched off by his grieving family. That had been the night James hadn't returned home until late, the boys smashed phone in his hand. That had concerned her more.