Buckynat Oneshots

Bad days

Natasha let the spoon clatter against the bowl of porridge as she got tired of stirring it, dropping it with a irritated sigh. She wasn't even sure why she was making it in the first place, she had no appetite, no want for it other than the knowledge that she should eat something. Something substantial to try and fill the emptiness that seemed to consume her over the last few days and restore her energy.

Her head was still pounding, an ache behind her tired eyes that seemed to come and go depending on the painkillers she took. She was exhausted, mentally and physically, and there was no other reason for it that her own mind and the thoughts dominating it.

She had days like this, not often, not even ever year, but when she did it's wasn't great. She knew she'd come out of her slump, stop feeling so down about herself and get back to fighting all her inner demons like every other day, eventually. Today she just had to let them win, stick it out for another day.

"I don't blame you for not wanting to eat that." His gruff voice travelled across the living, causing her to lift her head and give him a half grin. A small sign she was alright and to distract from the fact she was leaning on the counter for support just to stay upright.

"I take it that means I can't tempt you to have it instead?" She asked, already moving towards the trash to pour it out.

"No thanks. I ate not long ago." He continued over to her, leaning in the corner of the kitchen counter with his arms folded as she cleaned her bowl in the sink. "I was going to ask if you wanted to go a walk, but the elements are against me." He nodded towards the glass panels surrounding a wall of the avengers compound, rain heavily lashing against them in the strong winds outside.

"I might have to pass, I'm not up for a swim at the moment." She sat the clean bowl by the sink to dry, noticing the small smile on his lips.

She liked when he smiled, he rarely showed that side of him when they were in company which at the compound, they often were. Here usually meant work, even in his down time it was tough for him to shake the habit that he was free to say and act however he wanted. She's been like that when she first arrived. It was hard to break out of their routines, especially ones as strict as theirs that had been tortured into their system.

She stared out the window a moment, watching one of the water droplets roll down the glass as he moved to stand behind her slightly, grazing his hand up her back and then slowly back down to rest on her lower back. A soothing gesture that caused her to exhale out the breath she didn't realise she'd been holding.

"Nightmares?" He asked quietly, and she paused before nodding in reply. "Bad head day, huh?"

Despite him being the one with his memory erased, and relearned, she always forgot how much he could understand her. How much he related. Maybe that's why they had reconnected so quickly, like falling back into a pattern. Neither expected to pick up where they left off, and they weren't, not really. But the fact both knew each other deeper than anyone else could understand, only made their bond grow strong a lot quicker.

The others had noticed something had the potential to be going on, they weren't exactly trying to hide it since most of their previous relationship revolved around exactly that. But they hadn't confirmed or denied anything, nothing labelled them. They'd stolen a few dinner dates together, were fiercely protective of each other during missions, even spent a few days hidden away from everyone in her own little apartment in the city last month, tangled in bedsheets and eating takeout while they laughed at bad movies and caught up on all they'd missed. They enjoyed one another's company and thats all anyone else needed to know for now.

"Real bad." She whispered softly, her cheeks slowing mirroring the window with droplet of water cascading down them. She let them fall since it was just the two of them, alone together once again and too exhausted to keep up her charade she was doing okay. "And I don't know why. Usually there's a trigger, or some point in time I can pinpoint why I feel like this...but I can't. I'm just, sad." She huffed, "God, that sounds so lame."

He shook his head, his dark hair falling into his face while he guided her round so his metal arm could wrap around her waist too. "It's not lame. You, Natasha, could never be lame."

She dipped her head as he moved his hands up to her face, cupping her cheeks as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. She frowned slightly, the sweetness of the motion making her body tense in rejection at the affection she felt she didn't deserve. Before she could pull away, he guided her chin up slightly to kiss her lips. A slow tender kiss that she melted against, giving in to his silent persuasion. She hadn't been kissed like that in a long time. He gently pulled his lips away and brushed the tears from her cheeks. "You're a hero."

She swallowed and rested her forehead against his, closing her eyes tightly as she let the word wash over her. She shook her head slightly, letting her lips form a sad smile. "Not quite,"

"You are." He assured, running his hand through her red hair. "In everyone's book."

She didn't have the strength to argue, but it slowly rippled through her, giving her the small shred of hope she needed to get out of this dark spot she was in.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked quietly, looking down at her. "Or bury it."

"Bury it." She sighed, stroking her fingers along the stubble of his beard. "For now, at least."

He nodded, accepting her wish for the time being. It was his job now to improve her mood, much like she had done for him.

-

Around an hour later, Sam and Steve interrupted them dozing on the sofa silently. Only James opened his eyes at the grinning pair, raising his head slightly so he didn't wake Natasha who was sleeping soundly against him.

He was on his back, head propped up by a small pillow while her head lay on his chest and her body curled in between his and the sofa. One arm was resting across his stomach which held onto his metal one tightly even in her sleep. His other arm was around her shoulder, the ends of her hair entwined in his fingers from where he had fallen asleep stroking through them.

"Everything all good here?" Steve asked with a nod toward the sleeping form link around James who gave a curt nod in reply.

"Looks like it," Sam murmured under his breath, giving a smug smirk. 

"It will be." James assured with a soft smile, giving nothing away as he looked down at her while her chest rose and felt softly with her even breathing. A sign of a peaceful sleep. "Promise."

*just a little quick one because I'm sad ✌️*