I forgot to mention, but after a pretty long streak of not being suicidal, I'm back at it again. Idk what changed. Have I changed?
At least it's not planning as far as before. It's only the "I wanna die" or "I wanna go home" (home being back to the earth/wherever I came from. I don't wanna get into religion here though. If ur curious go ahead and ask) thoughts, and wishful thinking of running away where hopefully something bad happens to me and I have something "real to cry about". My counselor says imagining running away is the flight part of fight/flight, which I didn't know.
I couldn't go through with it, but I did get to the back gate. I kept trying to map out where'd I go, but one of the things I wanted to run from was being a burden, and showing up at someone's house uninvited with no where to go and no plan after that is somewhat the definition of a burden, specifically because I wasnt escaping anything/one dangerous and I had other options. Like staying home.
I had a productive talk with my parents about life goals after that, so that was good. I'm really lucky to have them. Would literally be dead if I'd been born to anyone else :/
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Im depressed, srry
Randomdont read if youre prone to grammatical errors, depression, the like. if anyone wants me to mark this as mature i will, but the only thing to be wary of is sad thoughts i was gonna put humor for the genre, to be ironic, but i dont want someone who's...
