so there i was. at a dance. and the only people i knew werent there yet. suddenly, a slow song starts. if u knew me, i run like slow dances are the plague because my awkward anxious aro self does not want to dance. so i always book it to the nearest door.
sadly, i couldnt make it to the door before a guy asked me to dance. i hate hurting ppls feelings, and i think its rlly rude to say no, and he was pretty cute and had cute eyes, so i said yes.
dont get me wrong this guy was super nice and made my little alterous heart flutter and everything. buuuut my little anxious self got out that door once the song ended and we'd said our goodbyes. once i found the bathroom i had a mini panic attack.
I had 4 mini attacks that night. two in the bathroom (the second one i was very nearly crying and i scratched at my arm...) and two while i was dancing to the regular songs. i told my mom anout this and literally everything that happened cuz i was super hyper and i didnt mind telling her cuz they were mini attacks.
well the next morning my dad kinda came up to me and brought up the topic of mom thinks i should get counseling or something to help with my problems (she doesnt even know the half of it lol) so i just said "sure, if it'll help". but rlly I'm just afraid that it won't do anything or I'll shut myself down and not talk to them or waste money, especially cuz we've already spent a lot of money on medical bills and if there's actually nothing wrong with me or they can't help then it was just a waste of time and money for everyone.
plus I'm not very good at answering questions abt mental health in an unbiased way bcuz my brain is rlly tricky like that. for example, i read about tics (like twitching, tapping, etc) and for the next few days i kept tapping my foot more than usual and i got rlly annoyed at myself.
so idk what to make of it all. idk
YOU ARE READING
Im depressed, srry
Randomdont read if youre prone to grammatical errors, depression, the like. if anyone wants me to mark this as mature i will, but the only thing to be wary of is sad thoughts i was gonna put humor for the genre, to be ironic, but i dont want someone who's...
