so the other day, i was at a skating rink with my friend. (same one that I've been talking about lately). she was texting her friends when she told me "so i'm using you for attention now. you're my girlfriend." before i could respond she said "like it's fake of course" and i didn't mind so i agreed to it and smiled and stuff. i told her how we basically act like a couple anyway (i mean, we hold hands, kinda cuddle, she lays across my lap sometimes, etc.) so it was no difference. she agreed. (she also knows i care about her a lot, and she knows im ace/aro and can't completely like/love people like other people can).
well then later after a bit of skating we were talking in the bathroom. she turned to me and said "this is gonna sound weird, but i really want to kiss you."
and i like panicked a bit inside cuz oof i was not expecting that and what ended up coming out of my mouth was "thats my nono zone-"
*facepalm*
at least i like smiled to make sure she knew i wasn't upset or anything, and i didn't like flat out reject her.
she asked me why not, and tried to convince me to kiss her/let her kiss me, so i was once again caught off guard.
like, how are you supposed to explain to someone you really care about (which is the closest i can get to loving someone) why you aren't interested in kissing them?
i ended up stammering out a sad attempt at explaining it. i hope i didn't hurt her feelings ;~;. she didn't seem sad, though...
but basically, I'm not interested in kissing. anyone. ever. of any gender. even with the strongest mesh (ace/aro crush) id ever had, i never wanted to kiss him. its not her fault at all, its my inability to feel that way for anyone.
a few more little reasons why are:
•it's against our religion
•both our moms were just outside
•ive never kissed anyone yet
•im not comfortable kissing anyone
but i kinda find this situation hilarious, mostly due to the fact that a total of one (1) boy and one (1) girl have said they wanted to kiss me. apparently i attract both genders? idek lol
oh and her mom found out the next day when she read her texts, so my friend has to tell her it was fake
if my mom hears of this she'll double her hawk-eye and helicopter-parent-ness... i hope she never does, that would be annoying!
p.s. I feel better than the last time i posted. not good, but better
YOU ARE READING
Im depressed, srry
Randomdont read if youre prone to grammatical errors, depression, the like. if anyone wants me to mark this as mature i will, but the only thing to be wary of is sad thoughts i was gonna put humor for the genre, to be ironic, but i dont want someone who's...
