By My Side - Sam/Aomaris Fanfiction

11) Trauma

"Ah! Don't do that, Zoey!" Laughter echoed through the house as my best friend giggled, panting for air.

"Hehehe, sorry! I had to!" I laughed back. "You looked so sleepy!"
"Yeah, well, you shouldn't scare me like that! You hate it when people do it to you! Like when Holly scared you because she knows you hate it. You went and sat in the corner of the playground because you were too scared to keep playing with everyone."
"Hey! You promised not to bring that up!" I cried.

It was my tenth birthday. It was a joyous occasion, the first and only sleepover I'd ever had. It was only me and my best friend at the time, Emily. She was in the year above me and the only person who'd ever been nice to me. She had the kind of personality that made her popular with everyone, but for whatever reason, she chose me to be her best friend. Out of everyone else, she chose me. And I would never be able to repay her for that.

The night was very fun and we were awake rather late, giggling furiously with each other as the night wore on and talking about random things. We didn't sleep until at least midnight and woke up early to a day full of things we'd planned to do. We were going swimming, having dinner at my favourite restaurant and then going to see a reshow of the first Harry Potter movie at the cinema. It was one of the most fun times I'd had in my life, but I was never a social person, even back then. By the end of the day, I was tired of the company. As much as I appreciated Emily, I needed time to myself.

"Zoey! I've asked my mum, and she says I can sleep over another night if your aunt is okay with it!" I feigned a smile.
"That sounds wonderful! I'll go ask!" I bounded up the stairs happily and paused outside my aunt's bedroom door, playing the conversation I wanted to happen in my head before heading back downstairs, acting dejected. I knew if I wasn't up there long enough, Emily would be suspicious.
"I'm sorry. My aunt says I need to sleep tonight because we were up last night." I did my best to act sad and to my relief, she bought it.
"Oh, okay. That's fine! I'll see you at school on Monday!" She left the house and bounded back to her mum's car, looking slightly crestfallen but joyful all the same.

That was the last time I ever saw her alive.

Sunday was uneventful. I spent it simply reading and listening to music. Even at the age of ten, I was listening to stuff like My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy, thanks to my cousin. I barely left my room that day and was quite happy in my solitude, regaining the energy I'd spent being social for the past couple of days. Monday, however, was completely different.

Stares and whispers followed me as I wandered down the corridors to my classes, making me self-conscious and uncomfortable. I was a quiet kid, I never liked attention. It wasn't like people didn't whisper about me anyway, but today seemed different for some reason. I became lost in my confusion and walked directly into Holly, who glared at me with something along the lines of pain in her eyes.
"You. How could you show your face here?" He snapped at me. I stared at her, unsure of whether I should answer her or not.
"It's your fault she's dead," Holly stated blankly, but her eyes were full of accusation.
"She's dead? Who's dead?" I asked her, legitimately confused. My bully snarled at me.
"Don't play dumb! If you weren't such an antisocial freak then Emily wouldn't have been in that freaking car crash!"

My eyes widened.
"Emily? Emily is... dead?" Holly's glare increased tenfold.
"Yeah, she is. And it's your fault."
"Wait, how do you even know she was at mine this weekend?" I asked.
"I went to visit her in the hospital yesterday. Unlike you. She told me what happened."
"I didn't know she was in the hospital! My aunt didn't tell me!"
"So what? You wouldn't have had to if you'd just let her sleep over one more night."
"I..." I couldn't respond. Holly was right, it was my fault. It was my fault for being so antisocial, so isolated, so lonely.