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Hello Lovelies,
When I updated LR on June 17, I promised as a birthday treat I'll be updating An Aesthete and BH before the night ends or by early morning of June 18. But as my madaithiranthu days that started on May 4, with two days leave on June 14 and 15 it turned into tsunami until yesterday. So I was unable to concentrate on writing or do any other work.
Once again sorry for the delay and here is promised treat update. BH will be updated by tonight.
Love 💜
RK Tejaswi
~~~~~~~~~~Veda
Will I ever be able to draw again?
I lie on the floor of my studio, panting heavily, looking at the ceiling with my drawing supplies scattered around me.
Another failed attempt.
I'm unable to hold the brush without my left hand trembling. If I somehow hold it and bring it to tha canvas, I'm unable to draw a single stroke straight. The hand that held crayons and brush even after getting beaten and cigarette burns from my father for being a left handed, sinistral, is trembling now.
My father had a problem with my left hand habit, he had a problem with my drawing skills and he had a problem with my mother supporting me. He had a problem with everything I did. All he ever wanted me to follow in his footsteps and he was ready to kill me when I tried to run away.
He was the most cruel monster to his own son.
If it was not for my mother's health, I wouldn't have returned. Then also she lied to me as if it's just a viral fever. All her temple trips and visiting her relatives who did not attend her funeral, was for her treatment. She made Selvam Anna promise her that he won't reveal her true health condition to me.
She was the queen of getting promises.
She made a sacrifice and I made a promise, now the world famous artist Veda is confined to this Beach House without stepping into the outside world. My only world was my mother and my artistry, now I don't have both.
I hear a loud banging on the door over the piano music playing in my studio. I have told Selvam anna not to disturb me when I'm in this room a thousand times but he never listens and keeps checking on me. I ignore his banging and close my eyes but bangs on the door louder.
I get up and walk towards the door to open it, "Enna na?" (What's the matter now?)
"Girish thambi phone pani iruku, pa. Unga kita pesiye aganum nu soluthu," he forwards my mobile to me and peaks into the studio looking at the scattered supplies on the floor. "Itha sutham panidava, pa?" I nod at him and let him in. (Girish has called you and he is insisting on talking with you.) (Shall I clean these?)
"Hello, enna vishayam da?" I walk near the balcony french door and push the curtains aside, checking if anyone is roaming on the shore. (What's the matter?)
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