I Love You Padfoot (ENG)

24. Prisoner of Azkaban

Another year has passed. Sirius sat alone in a dark and cold cell, and all he could think of was revenge. He never forgot those horrible moments, even though so many years had passed. He still had before his eyes the dead bodies of his friends and the traitor through whom it all happened. He saw Katie crying trying to pull him out from behind bars. The pain didn't decrease at all, it grew more and more with each passing day. If it weren't for Pettigrew, James and Lily would still be alive. Right now, they could watch their son grow up. If it weren't for Peter, Sirius and Katie would have been married, and who knows, maybe they would have had a child of their own. Because of Wormtail, everything was lost. Or maybe it wasn't his fault at all... Sirius thought otherwise. He blamed himself for letting him take over the role of the Secret Keeper, if that hadn't happened, things would have turned out very differently. Why does this keep happening to them?

Black lay down on hard and cold ground. He no longer had the strength to do anything, he didn't know what to do. He closed his eyes, and then salty drops of tears ran down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered. "It's all my fault. "Hid his face in his hands. "I killed you... "

After a few minutes, Marauder got up and started walking back and forth in his cell. A moment later he saw a big piece of stone so he took it and began to sharpen it. It seemed that boy was slowly starting to lose his mind, but was it really so? Black took the sharpened stone and put it to his throat with the intention of killing himself. After a while, he paused. Tears continued to run down his cheeks while he was shaking terribly because of all these emotions. A second later, behind him, he heard a voice he hadn't heard for many years.

"Do you want to kill yourself? " Woman's voice said. "Do you really want to do it?" Woman asked. "Do you want to leave me alone with all this...?" Her voice was breaking.

"Kitty..." Sirius cried and looked at girl standing behind him. He knew it was just a figment of his imagination, but he was still very happy to see his beloved, whom he had not seen for years. "I can't do it anymore..." Cried. "I don't know what to do." Said, still shaking and holding stone to his throat.

"I'll tell you what to do. " She replied in a soft voice, then went to boy and grabbed his hand, in which he held the stone, and left it at will, then took stone and threw it aside. "You're not going to kill yourself, I'm forbidding you." Said. "Think about how I'll feel when something happens to you, when I lose you forever. " She touched his cheek with her hand. "I also thought about it many times to finally end it all. But I didn't, you know why? "Asked gently. "Because there are people in this despicable world who need me... Harry... Remus... And you... That's why I won't let you do it. I did everything I could to free you, but I couldn't do anything. Forgive me. "

"It's not your fault." He replied sadly. "If I had become that damn Secret Keeper, things would have turned out differently... I didn't need to listen to that hunch. So what if Voldemort knew right away that I was the Keeper... At least I wouldn't betray them... James and Lily would still be alive, and Harry would have his parents with him. "

"You don't know if that would definitely happen. " Woman said. "Nobody knows the future. And even if they survived... Think about it, life for life, what if you died then? You would protect your friends, but you would... "

"At least they would live. " Entered into her words.

"And what about me? " She interjected. "Did you think about how I would feel if you died? I suffer after loss of friends, and if I also lost a loved one... I wouldn't be able take such a loss. " Said.

"Why are you here...? " He asked after a long while. "How...?"

"I'm not real. " Replied and looked out through the bars. "I'm a figment of your imagination. " She looked at Marauder with a smile.