apricate; enhypen imagines

nishimura riki - guilty [part three]

a/n: so excited for this comeback!! i can't wait^^

tw: same as previous two parts (blood; violence; cursing)

- linden

If Ni-ki were taken in for all the things he'd done to you, he would be convicted immediately as guilty. In your head, you'd already convicted him that way. You'd convicted him for violence, assault, and verbal harassment, but you'd also convicted yourself. You
weren't free from the terrible things you said to him or the spite in your voice or the sick feeling in your chest. You weren't free of the things you wanted to do to him, hit him until he bled, but even imagining it made you want to scream. Just like he did to you, you would find yourself imaging bandaging him up, crying. You couldn't handle even the idea of him hurt, but you would never forgive him.

————

You stared weakly at Riki as he entered the cellar early in the morning with a small plate of food. A bandage had been removed from his cheek, revealing a pale scar parallel to his left eye. His gaze flickered up to yours as he approached. "This is half of my breakfast. Feel lucky."

You turned your gaze from his, staring at the lukewarm and half eaten food hungrily. Again, you gazed up at him. "My hands please."

Riki scoffed like that was the most stupid idea ever. "Yeah, right. I'll feed you."

You frowned at him and glare. "If you spill anything on me, free my hands."

"If I free your hands and you do anything funny i'll punch you and never sneak you food again."

"Deal." You lifted your bruised chin in fake confidence. It hadn't done anything since you got kidnapped to be meek as you naturally were. If you were defiant, you might get somewhere.

For a moment, Ni-ki frowned, then dragged his own chair closer. It scraped on the floor and you winced at the sound. He sat and picked up the spoon, swirling around the oats and looking up at you through his eyelashes.

"Do rich people really eat oatmeal?" You asked. There was a skeptical tone to your voice but you truthfully didn't care, you were too hungry for it to matter to you whether you were eating a moldy banana or a gourmet pasta.

"Do captives usually complain this much?" Riki replied sarcastically. He lifted the spoon and looked you square in the eyes. "Eat. Slowly, or you'll choke and or barf it back up later." He frowned. "And I don't want to deal with a mess like that."

You stared at the oatmeal and licked your lips expectantly. To the starving person you were in the moment, that mushy lukewarm oatmeal looked like the most delectable food in existence, so much so that you almost didn't heed Ni-ki's words.

You lunged forward to get to the oatmeal but Ni-ki jerked his hand away. "Slowly!" He demanded. Again, he brought the spoon to you and pushed it towards your mouth. Too hungry to bother being dramatically slow to bother him, you ate the oatmeal, slower this time.

A small grin came over your features. Riki stared at you blankly as you took the next spoonful he fed you, still wearing the same smile. "You look kinda scary smiling with your face all banged up like that." He said. You barely glanced at him, reminding yourself to slow down and taking the next bite, chewing on a piece of apple. After you swallowed, you opened your mouth to quickly let out a remark. "And you look just wonderful with all those scrapes on your jaw."

"Mhm." Riki frowned at you and gave you another bite; a small blob of oatmeal fell from the spoon and landed on your knee. Immediately, you and Ni-ki made eye contact. His hand with the spoon hovered in the air; you chewed slowly. There was silence.

Then, "You did that on purpose!" He exclaimed. You swallowed your oatmeal. "No I didn't! Release my hands!"

He relented after a moment. "Fine, fine." Riki grumbled. He stood and set the bowl down on his chair before reaching around you. He loosened the rope then untied it from around your torso, letting it drop to the ground around your tied up ankles.

You gasped softly and raised your arms to stretch, grinning. Ni-ki watched you carefully and closely as you wiggled in your chair.

"Ahh, my back hurtsss. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable this chair is?? Oww, it hurts so much to sleep on here, everything aches." You whined.

Riki sat back in his chair and crossed one leg carefully over the other, holding the oatmeal in his hands and raising his eyebrows at you. He stirred the oatmeal thoughtlessly. "Are you gonna eat or not?"

You glared at him. "Sorry, I was enjoying having my arms free." You tenderly touched a couple of scratches on your knees and the bruise on your chin before taking the bowl. You started to eat, trying your best to pace yourself. Then, through a mouthful of oatmeal, "Can you not watch me eat?"

"Don't talk with your mouth full."

You swallowed. "Fine. Can you not watch me eat?"

Ni-ki rolled his eyes but turned his gaze to your feet. Some part of him must have figured that you wouldn't do anything to him even if you had fire in your words.

When you were done, you handed him back the bowl and fiddled with your fingers. "Are you gonna tie me back up?" You asked softly. His gaze traveled critically over your figure. After so much time without food (water was once a day), deprived of proper sunlight, and beat up tied to a chair, you'd come to look sickly. Your fingers had become bony and there were shadows like bruises under your eyes, matching the real bruises scattering your face and body. "No." Ni-ki said finally, "You aren't a threat." And he turned to leave with the empty oatmeal bowl.

You stopped him with a soft voice. "Thank you." You had trouble raising your eyes to face him but forced your gaze up. "For the food, and for not beating me up again.."

Riki searched your nervous eyes, trying to find something. You weren't sure what

"But," Your voice stayed soft but hardened. "Just know that I'll never forgive you."

He cracked a small pink smile, still watching you.
His knuckles were going white from their tight grip on the bowl.

You felt a surprise flutter in your stomach at the sight of his smile and suddenly wanted to throw up. What a sick, sick smile. Broken. You helped do that to him. Convicted, guilty. He was guilty for the hurt he inflicted on you and you were guilty for breaking him.

"Fair enough." Ni-ki muttered, hand on the ladder leading to the cellar door. "But just know that I still hate you for what you do to me."

He snapped his gaze away from you and started to climb the ladder.

You stared at the floor. "What if we run away from this shit ass place? What if you don't hurt me?" You whispered. "Why don't we dance below the sunset again?"

Riki aused, only for a split second. He didn't make it obvious, but you knew very well that he'd heard you.

He didn't bother to do anything but continue climbing the ladder.

[this started getting a lil long sooo, part 4? should i make these the first three chapters of a book?]