Dark And Light

chapter 37

I can't tell you how many times Ms. Song came in per week to help me to heal further. I don't think they took me to the hospital and I was in and out of consciousness for a week. I only hoped the damage wasn't as bad as it felt. As it is, I was having to sleep with a cast on, and funny enough, after having to get my stomach pumped, I still had ibuprofen I needed to take for my arm and stomach pain. Though, that was still a nuance. I wasn't allowed to find or touch the pain meds, nor was I allowed the oxytocin originally prescribed.

Sabrina's pain continued at half the level it was for me, so I'd made sure to just move as carefully as possible. The good thing is, that my breathing issues weren't hers. Only pain and hers was mine of course. The only difference was I was the one in pain 8/10 times.
Oh and my twin. He feels it sometimes.

I just finished a therapy session with Brenda. To be honest, she had to tell me to look at her at least 8 times during it. And after the fifth time, I began to see tears of frustration. I only responded telepathically to her, and anyone else this week when I felt energetic enough. It was insane how I was trying not to do that many weeks prior and now, for the past two weeks, that's all I've been doing. And went to an actual doctor once Anya, Brenda, and her daughter miraculously healed my wounds to put on a cast on my arm. Before that, it was only a bandage wrapped tightly around the area.
I had to take off this cast in a week, given it hurt much less in the past few days.

I slouched a bit as Brenda took the last bit of notes she had of this session.

"Alright, we're done. I'll see you in a few days?"

I nodded and she packed up to leave. Bella rubbed my back and then got off the bed. She was probably going downstairs to get a check to give Ms. Song since she gave her by the month.

Brenda lingered behind Bella until she just halted at the door and turned to me again.

I just looked at her silently and attempted to straighten my back.

"Can I get some verbal responses from you?"

I blinked rapidly then finally shook my head. My heart pulsated as it looked like she seemed to feel defeated.

That was a dick move. On second thought,

I looked around the room and then focused my energy on closing the door until it only had a 3-inch space to look through.

"What did you wanna ask? I'll only provide one verbal response."

She sighed but slowly came to the bed and sat about a foot away from where I was in a lotus position.

"Will you do it again?"

I restrained a scoff. If I could count the number of times I've heard people whisper or think that I'd be out of bands to found on.

I shook my head. "I've not been so honest and it's tiring having to lie. I dont wanna do it again... I think your daughter saw me, did she? How is she?"

"Better. She hasn't cried again. Actually, she feels hopeful for you." She smiled and traced a star on the cast.

The cast consisted of a lot of healing sigils and get well affirmations. Tell me you're from a highly witchy family without actually telling me.

"Why won't you?"

I flicked at my nails and thought for a while.

Then sighed and gave my honest answer.

"I'm not meant to. It's selfish. I'm only thinking of my pain and how to eliminate it. And I've seen firsthand over and over how it hurts others. Transference of pain. And I'd have missed a lot. I got other things to focus on than ending my life now." It sounded like I was telling a secret.