Live , Hydra, Love (part 12) ❤️‍🔥 Bucky

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Song: Halsey ft. Post Malone - die for me.

Warning: Enola has trauma (duh), Y/n will have a lot of meltdowns. Enola is Saltyyyy and Bucky is clueless. Mentions if complicated childbirth, mentions of abuse and traumatic past. Angst and little to no fluff.

•••

'Y/n, stay with me...' Bucky breathes in short breaths of pure panic. He cannot lose you.

'I'm so tired...' you mutter as your eyes keep rolling back into your skull. It's terrifying for Bucky, he just watched the most beautiful woman on earth push out a baby, the baby already had trouble staying alive and now you.

He won't survive without you there in Hydra with him. Without the girl you just gave birth to, you would be devastated but you could still make it together, but if he loses both tonight then...

He lets out a big sigh from the memory. What came after was even more devastating because he had to lie about the little wonder you pushed out. That you almost died for.

The look on your face was like a knife to the gut. You cried and cried for what seemed like an eternity. Even after they tried wiping the memories, you still looked numb, miserable. Just like you do now..

It's been two weeks since Enola got here, Bucky seems to be getting through to her and you haven't even tried to connect.

You've been staring at your food for ages, you know this. But zoning out right now feels better than being in the actual physical world.

Your physical world is getting worse, zoning out however, daydreaming about the good stuff, that's what gets you through the day. Perhaps you're too tired to zone back in as well.

'Y/n.. I know you don't like me right now, but at least eat...'

You stay silent, ignoring him. You feel incredibly betrayed by that man and you don't want to take all your anger out on him, he wouldn't survive it if you did.

'Do you need me to feed it to you like you're a baby then?'

Your eyes meet his in an icey glare. 'How wonderful that I am a joke to you...'

'Now that's just petty, Y/n...'

'You have seen nothing of my pettiness yet, James...besides, I have lost my appetite...that tends to happen when people you care about lie to you..'

'I didn't... okay fine yeah I lied.. but it was for your own good-'

'My own good?! There was a child out there all by herself that needed our help! It was our child that needed us and we weren't there!'

'We couldn't have done anything they wiped us over and over again okay?! We were bound to forget at some point!' He raises his voice but you're not done.

You may not be able to control him and his actions but you ca show him the anger that has settled deep within you. You do understand that this is hard on him, it cuts you deep when you think about what he had to go through but lying? Knowing that it could come to bite in the ass later on. That's too painful to not get angry at.

'BUT YOU DIDN'T FORGET!' You scream at him.

It effectively silences him. 'You didn't forget...you should have told me... I know it wouldn't be easy but then this wouldn't have been such a surprise... and so yeah I am fucking angry... I just got my memory back only to get it slapped right back in my face that perhaps not all of it is back and never will come back...so no, James I am not fucking hungry...'

You shove the plate away from you while your chair does the same. You stand up and walk out with a huff.

•••

You couldn't possibly calm down completely in a situation like this. Yes, Bucky knows you're angry at him but Enola? What are you supposed to do with her?

You can't start acting all motherly all of the sudden, it might confuse and anger her even more. Besides you don't know what she came to do and who send her, so there's that.

But what you can do is talk to her face to face. But you won't go in blind. For all you know she has the same shield Bucky has for your powers.

'So she's not with them anymore... she just wants to know who her parents are...' Tony says as he watches your body language. You're nervous, rightfully so.

'And the tests?'

'All positive... she's yours Y/n...'

You close your eyes at that. You try to keep the pressure of the tears away. You can't break down now. Do you take deep breath and with a short nod you enter the room she's in.

'What now..' Enola sighs as she sits up on her bed.

Her eyes grow wider when she sees you standing in front of her. God those eyes remind you of Bucky's, equally blue and bright as his. The more you look at her the more you recognise from the pair of you.

'Uhm, hi...' you speak up, the shake in your voice evident.

'Hi...' Enola says as she moves off of her bed. She slowly walks towards you.

Her steps are careful and calculated. Her eyes darting over your form to make sure you don't love before she does.

'I just want you to know... if I had known you were out there then I... I would have looked for you-'

'Yeah right..' she scoffs, her carefulness gone from hee body as she crosses her arms. 'That's what they all say... right? Oh if I wouldn't have given you away then I would've taken care of you and all that...'

'Excuse me? I didn't give you away Enola, I was told you were dead...'

'Oh please.. Bucky knew!'

'I didn't! Okay... he didn't tell me... Enola I... I can't imagine what you went through.. what they put you through.. and I understand if you don't want to talk to me... I get it.. but if I'm honest I don't know what to do... and I'm guessing neither do you...'

'Wow aren't you the brightest in the room...'

'Sarcasm...' you can't help but laugh to yourself at her attitude. 'Got me a long way as well..'

Enola rolls her eyes at you and you can't help but chuckle slightly. 'Seems like you and I have the same attitude...'

'Then something good did come out of this...' Enola replies. 'Because up until this point everything else sucks.' She moves over to her bed again.

'I'm going to make sure they leave the door open, no use for you to be sitting in this "cell"... I'm not sure what it is but the people around here don't seem to get that being in Hydra and getting stuck like this could trigger something...'

'Yeah whatever...' she lets herself fall on the bed.

You feel a pang of hurt that you know you can't take personal. She's mad and probably a little scared, things she cannot control. You don't blame her for it one bit.

'I'll be there if you need anything okay?'

'Ask Bucky to talk to me next time...' she harshly replies.

You feel fresh tears brewing up inside your eyes but you once again hold them back. You try to give her a soft smile and a nod before you exit the room again.

You didn't think it would go smoothly but you can't exactly say that this went the way you were hoping it would go. The icing on the cake? Bucky she seems to like talking to.

At least one parent is able to connect with her.. it just sucks that it can't be you..

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