byler oneshots yo

distant prt 2

"Can I go now? Or do you still have more to say. I've told you everything I needed to so." Will trailed off. Mike could hear how eager he was to leave, but he still had so much to say.

"Yes I have more to say, but not right now. Look I just need time. Will I do trust you. You know that right? And maybe you would understand, yeah, but I don't know if I'm ready to tell anyone."

"Okay. You don't have to tell me, what's going on with you. But can you tell me what I had to do with it? Because you can't say I didn't do anything wrong, I know I did, or you wouldn't have avoided me for so long."

Mike just looked at him. He wanted to cry. He hated that Will thought it was his fault but it was for the best not to tell him. It would scare Will away. Plus, Mike didn't even know how to explain his feelings to himself, there's no way he could do it to Will.

Will realized, yet again, that Mike wasn't talking. "Mike, you have to communicate with me. I understand it's difficult but I'm here to go through it with you. I can't fix things if I don't know what's bothering you."

Mike felt a tear fall. Shit. Shit. Shit. "Will I swear on my life it has nothing to do with what you did. It's-"

"Bullshit Mike!" Will said, dropping his book bag to the floor. "Please stop lying to me. Isn't that a whole big rule now in our party. Stop lying!"

"I can't tell you the truth!" Mike said, letting more tears fall. It wasn't until he looked up, that he noticed Will had let some fall as well. He picked up his bag and wiped some off his face before taking a deep breath.

He tried to relax but Mike could tell it was hard to keep the tears in. His expression showed it all.

Will took a step in front of Mike who was leaned against a wall. "I don't know where I went wrong. I really don't." He said. He tried to walk out the door but he wanted Mike to say something so badly.

The two boys sat there longing to just talk to one another, but nobody was willing to keep it going. Will waited a few more seconds before he decided it was best to leave.

He went to lunch and told Lucas and Dustin that they still talked, they just haven't been as close. He didn't really go into detail of what happened. After school Will met El outside of the school and they rode their bikes home.

He was sitting on the table when Joyce walked in with some groceries. "Hey Will! How was school?" She said, plopping the bags on the counter. "It was okay. How was work?" He asked, standing up. It was about 5 o'clock. The usual time Joyce got home.

"Same as always." She noticed Will was going to grab the rest of the bags. "There's a letter on the porch for you. I don't know who it's from though." She called as Will reached the door.

He grabbed the letter and put it in his pocket before grabbing the rest of the bags. Once he got them to the kitchen, he took out the letter and sat down at the table.

Dear Will,

First of all I wanted to apologize...

"Hey, I'm gonna go read this in my room." Will said, standing up. "Everything okay?" She asked. "Yeah, yeah I'll be out soon." Will called through the hallway.

He closed his door and laid down on his bed.

Dear Will,

First of all I wanted to apologize. I didn't mean to do all that at school. It would've been better if it was at one of our houses and not in a janitors closet. I know I told you I couldn't explain what's going on. I think in the moment I was just scared and I couldn't express my feelings properly. The truth is you made me nervous. I couldn't tell you face to face but now that I'm here writing this letter, it's easy to just spill out everything. Before I write anything else, please please please do not show anyone this. Don't read it with anyone else. I know I've even a shitty friend, if you can even call it that, but I'm asking you to do this. I don't need anyone else knowing.

Also before I tell you, I want you to know I care about you a lot. I don't want this to gross you out or make you feel weird, that's not my intention at all. But I need to tell you. (And if this doesn't make any sense I'm really really sorry I don't know how to explain it very well.)

I know I'm not supposed to but I think I have a crush on you Will. I know people are grossed out by guys liking guys and honestly I was for a long time too but that's just because I was scared. I was scared (and I still am) you'd think I'm gross for it. When Troy and James would make fun of you and call you gay, it just made me so mad. Why did they care so much? On the other hand it's like I wanted it. Part of me hoped it was true and that you liked guys. God for some reason the most mesmerizing thing was your eyes. I couldn't say no to you with the way you looked at me.

I decided a while ago it would be best to just get rid of my feelings. I didn't know how else to do that other than to stay away from you. Like I said, it wasn't you, it was me. I mean it. It was never your fault. I know that sounds really cliche but it's true. I felt so guilty when you said earlier that you did something wrong. Never in a million years could you do something to make me not want to talk to you. You have no idea how painful these last few months have been. I know i've been distant and I can never apologize enough.

And this letter is not an excuse at all for the way i've been acting. I just thought you might want an explanation, even though it's not a very good one...

I've missed you. If you don't hate me after this, I want to hangout more. Sorry for being such a baby and writing it in a letter, couldn't even say it to your face.

I've really really missed you. Especially hanging out every day after school like we did in 8th grade. We'd get home and Jonathan made snacks for us before he went to work. Then we' read comics, ride bikes, do literally anything together. If you're not completely pissed at me, we could do that more?

Again, I can't even put in to words how sorry I am. Remember, it was never your fault, I really need you to believe me on that one.

                                                               Love,
                                                                     Mike.