"You can't just order me not to fall for you, Ravenna. You can't just. Especially if I'm almost there."
Halos bumagsak ang baba ko sa sahig sa narinig mula sa kaniya. What the fudgee bar?! Is he for real?!
Muli na naman akong kinarate ng iba-ibang konklusyon. Nasagot na rin ang aking mga katanungan ngunit ayaw ko pa ring tanggapin iyon. Hindi ko matanggap. Ayaw kong tanggapin. Hindi p'wede ito. Hinding-hindi. Bawal ang lahat. Hindi p'wedeng. . . hindi p'wedeng tuluyan siyang magkagusto siya sa akin.
This has to stop! I have to stop him even before he do what everyone would never like! I have to stop him from falling! I have to do something!
"Come on, Lavinson!" Desperateness was evident in my tone. "This is for our own sake!"
Umawang ang labi niya. Dalawang beses siyang napakurap. Tila nanlabo ang kaniyang mga mata dahil inayos niya ang eyeglasses niya. Gamit ang kaniyang dalawang mahahabang daliri ay itinulak niya paitaas ang kaniyang kakambal na salamin. May ngiting hilaw ring nakapaskil sa kaniyang mapupulang labi.
I gritted my teeth, trying to stop myself from describing him in a detailed way.
I sighed. "My cousin will be mad at me—"
"Do not mention her here," kalmado niyang pagputol sa ano pa mang sasabihin ko. "This is between the two of us."
"She started this," giit ko. My fist balled in annoyance. Kung makapagsalita ang inosenteng lampang elementong ito ay parang nakalimutan na niya kung paano nagsimula ang lahat at kung sino ang naglagay sa amin sa sitwasyong ito. "She's the main reason why we are in this situation."
He shook his head in disbelief. Nanatili pa rin ang hilaw na ngisi sa kaniyang labi. Mukhang hindi siya makapaniwala sa mga pinagsasabi ko ngayon. He averted my gaze by simply looking at the other direction. Napansin ko ring humigpit ang pagkakahawak niya sa plastic na dala niya.
Huminga ako nang malalim at pinakalma ang sarili. I could still feel my body shaking in anger and fear. Galit dahil nangyayari ito at takot dahil hindi ko sigurado kung ano ang posibleng kahihinatnan ng lahat na ito. Sure, I know what may happen. I have clues and ideas. I just don't want it to happen. At iyon ang kinatatakutan ko.
But everything will be in the right hand if this craziness will stop. We just have to do something, do everything to make this stop. This is so unexpected and I never see this one coming kaya wala akong nakahandang plano. Naguguluhan din ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit mayroong parte sa akin na ayaw itigil ito. Nahulog na ba talaga ako sa kaniya nang tuluyan? I know I already did at nakakatakot ang nararamdaman kong ito.
Heart is really unpredictable. This is my hypothalamus' fault.
Muli akong huminga nang malalim. "I want you to stay away from me, temporarily. Let's give each other a week to digest everything. Let's forget this day." Napalunok ako. "L-Let's forget every single thing happened today."
He was still staring at me. I would like to give myself a slow clap for I didn't lost my balance while we are staring at each other. Slow clap for me.
"Stay away from me, Lavinson and I will stay away from you, too."
Bumagsak ang balikat niya. Narinig ko rin mabigat niyang paghinga na parang nahihirapan siyang tanggapin ang mga sinabi ko.
I continued, "You're a trouble and just like what my older brother always said, I have to stay out of trouble."
Natigilan ako sa sariling sinabi. Hindi kaya palagi iyong sinasabi ni Kuya dahil alam niyang malapit na naman ako sa gulo? Hindi kaya na-predict na niya ang pangyayaring ito? Knowing him, I won't be surprise kung aaminin niyang alam na niya na mangyayari ito.
BINABASA MO ANG
Guarding Thy Innocence ✓
AcciónGuard everything, but not thy innocence. - Damned #1 Ayell's *** Note: This piece was written back in my jeje era, so expect errors ( grammatical & typographical ) and other ka-jeje-han scenes and lines ( that sometimes, you would find disturbing. )
