The Ancient Sorceress ~Loki x Bucky AU~

Chapter 54

As more nightmares plagued my sleep, I decided it was best to just not sleep anymore. Every passing scene brought back more memories that had been suppressed. Every night with Rumlow was clearer than ever. Every night he forced Bucky to hurt me or watch was horrifying. The one thing I realized was that Bucky never went through with raping me. The one time he got close, he was taking way too long and it pissed Rumlow off. After that night, Rumlow never ordered him to try again.

I was grateful that Bucky hadn't gone that far. That meant that he was fighting against himself to disobey orders. It relieved me because I knew Bucky would hold something like that against himself. He would feel extreme guilt and I didn't want that for him.

As victims of Hydra, we already dealt with the screams and fears of the people we had killed in our heads. We couldn't control our actions but that didn't mean we didn't regret it.

I could remember when I was first captured by Hydra. I was so young then...even though it wasn't that long ago. More pieces of who the Avengers were to me were coming back. I could remember training with them. The pictures placed around my room helped jog some of those memories.

I was currently sitting on my bed with all my picture frames spread out on top of my blankets. I had my door open and my lamp on. It was the middle of the night, but I knew I wasn't getting any rest.

I stared at each picture, scanning over each detail. Seeing their smiles and mine, and even Tony's angry face when we messed with his alcohol. I didn't remember printing these pictures out, but maybe the team did to make this place feel more familiar.

I couldn't keep my eyes from drifting over to the photo of Loki and I. We looked different. Our auras around each other were different compared to the emotion I held in the pictures with the others. We looked so happy and it all just felt right.

    There was a thud that came from down the hall. I was curious as to what the sound was. I couldn't sleep so I figured I could go check it out. I pushed myself out of my bed and started tiptoeing into the hall. I heard some loud breathing and grunts coming from Bucky's room. I made it to his door and carefully turned the knob.

    His room came into view and I saw him thrashing in his bed. I gasped as I realized he was having a nightmare. I rushed over to him, shaking him lightly on his shoulder.

    "Bucky. Bucky wake up. It's me, Shadow."

    I yelped as I was tackled and pinned under Bucky's hold on the bed. He reached for my throat and I squirmed under his hold. He began to squeeze, blocking the air from my lungs. I gasped out for air, clawing at his arms to see if I could get his attention to wake up.

    His pressure was getting tighter. I tried to force words out of my mouth, but nothing came out but squeaks. I finally managed to squeeze onto his wrist, gripping him as tight as I could. I could feel the sparks move between me to him, like they were helping me communicate.

    Bucky's body trembled and his labored breathing continued. I could feel myself start to lose consciousness when the pressure on my neck was gone. I choked and coughed as air was finally able to travel to my lungs. I lightly touched my throat, sitting up in the bed to find Bucky.

    He had thrown himself in the corner of the room. He was attempting to control his breathing, yet he looked terrified. I knew he more than likely felt guilty attacking me when he was asleep.

    I reached out my hand to him. "Buckyyy." I wheezed out. I coughed a bit more, trying to settle the inflammation and burning sensation that was there.

    Bucky shook his head. "What are you doing here? I could've killed you." His whisper was sharp and full of fear.

    I smiled and got out of bed. I walked over to him and took in his appearance. He had been sleeping without a shirt and only wore shorts. His chest was so sculpted it was hard for me to look away.