Innocent's Seductress (4th Gen #17)

Chapter 41

Imbes na humakbang paasok, ay pinili niyang tumakbo paalis.

She's not ready for this. Hindi niya kayang tanggapin. She's not ready for the truth to slap her face even tho she already know it. Ang sakit...ang sakit-sakit tanggapin.

Muli na naman siyang nag-taxi papunta sa condo niya. Ang driver naman ay takang-taka dahil mukhang trip niyang mag-taxi ngayong gabi. Ito ang naghatid sa kanya papuntang Rad Cuisine, ito ang naghatid papunta sa bahay ng magulang tapos ito na namn ang maghahatid sa condo niya.

Pagkarating niya ay humanap siya ng pera sa wallet niya pero ubos na kaya kinuha niya ang cheque na bigay ni Atty. Frigus at binigay sa taxi driver.

"Here. Birthday gift." Nalulugang sabi niya habang inaabot niya ang cheque.

"Ma'am, hindi ko po birthday."

"Tanggapin mo na lang, Manong!" Iyak niya kaya wala na itong pagpipilian kung hindi tanggapin.

Agad siyang tumalikod kahit tinawag siya nito. She run to the elevator and as it was opened, she saw Heilan getting out from it.

"Ckim, I was looking for you---"

Hindi na niya ito pinatapos at niyakap niya ito ng mahigpit at doon umiyak sa dibdib nito.

Nanaisin man niyang magalit, gustuhin man niyang mawala at manakit pero hindi niya kaya...

His love might not real but she rather choose to take that pill because she's crazily in love with Heilan Benjamin.

"I...I didn't mean about the break up, b-baby. I-it was just..P-PMS." The she laugh while crying.

She's trying to concele the pain while looking at Heilan. Ang sakit-sakit nitong tingnan, ang sakit-sakit nitong hawakan pero pipiliin niya pa ring titigan at yakapin ito. It's like she's hugging a cactus.

Heilan hugged her and caress her back.

"Don't say things like that, Mommy. You're hurting me."

Kinagat niya ang labi para pigilan ang paghagulhol kasi takot siyang mahalata nito na may dinadala siyang sakit. Mahigpit ang kapit niya sa polo nito na para bang doon kumukuha ng lakas.

Ang tamis-tamis ng mga salita mo, Heilan...sayang lang dahil hindi totoo.

Nag-angat siya ng tingin dito at ngumiti.

"L-love mo naman ako, 'di ba? Mahal mo naman si Ckim, 'di ba, Heilan?" Parang batang tanong niya at muli na namang paiyak.

Tumango ito at pinalis ang luha sa kanyang mata.

"I love you, Ckim.."

Napapikit siya ng marinig ang salitang 'yon. The first time she heard those words was like a dream come true, and now hearing it again, it's like a nightmare dressed like a daydream.

Ang sakit mong mahalin, Heilan. Pero pipiliin kong maging masokista kasi mahal kita.

Pinalis niya ang luha at hinila ang kamay nito papasok sa elevator. Kinalma niya ang sariling huwag umiyak ulit.

"K-kumusta naman kanina? Did you enjoy, hmm?" Tanong niya para may mapag-usapan sila.

"Yeah. But it would be more fun if you're there. Their wives were there also." Heilan said.

Another pain strike her heart. Not by Heilan, her mom nor Atty Frigus but the Benjamins cousins.

Kung pwede naman pala magdala ng babae, bakit si Heilan lang ang niyaya ng mga 'to? Hindi ba talaga siya tanggap sa Benjamin? It was not only Atty. Frigus who dislike her, it's the whole clan.

Muli na namang tumulo ang luha niya pero agad niyang pinalis. Pagkarating nila sa unit niya ay tumungo sila sa silid niya. Heilan seems quite while intently looking at her. Pilit siyang ngumiti dito para itago ang sakit sa kanyang mukha.

"Don't mind me, baby! T-this is just...normal. It's normal for a person to have a breakdown...and uh--hahaha, I'm..you know, experiencing it r-right now." She lied.

Heilan sighed and hugged her. At kahit sa yakap nito ay nasasaktan na siya. Kasi...pakiramdam niya ay wala lang. Before, between his arms feels home and at peace, right now she felt like it was just an empty space that she force to believe was home.

"I'm always here, love. You're not alone, you have me."

See? Heilan loves her. Heilan cares for her. Hindi man iyon ang naramdaman nito sa simula but at least he fell in love, right? Nahulog naman siguro ito sa kanya kalaunan. Hindi naman siguro lahat ng 'yon ay pagpapanggap lang.

"I know. It's because you love me, right?"

Heilan nodded. Napangiti naman siya.

"Mahal na mahal rin kita Heilan. I love you." She said and hugged him, leaning her head on his chest.

Hindi niya kayang pakawalan ang binata. Even tho she's like holding into a knife, she won't let go even if she bleed.

Hindi niya rin sasayangin ang nagawa ng ina niya. Alam niyang para na rin 'yon sa kabutihan niya kaya ayaw niyang itapon lang ang lahat ng 'yon sa wala.

Her mother is not the villain...but she was her hero. Ginawa lang iyon ng ina niya para sa kanya. To give her what she deserve.

At kapalit ba ng lahat ng 'yon ang masaktan ka Ckim? Do you deserve a fake and pretentious love? The other side of her brain said.

Nababaliw ka na, Ckim. Your mother is indeed, right. Love is a drug. And now she's overdosed.

MABIGAT ang talukap niya kinabukasan.  She felt Heilan's warm embrace who's still sleeping beside her.

Dinilat niya ang mata para matitigan ito. Hindi niya napigilang mapangiti at hinaplos ang mukha nito.

She can't afford waking up one morning without this face welcoming her eye sight. She can't imagine her life without Heilan anymore. She would rather keep him even if it hurts, pero hindi naman sasakit na kalaunan. Alam niyang mahal naman na siya ng binata at mahal niya ito.

Dumilat si Heilan at agad na ngumiti ng makitang gising na siya. He kissed her forehead and hugged her tighter.

"Good morning, Mommy." He greeted sweetly.

Pumihit ang sakit sa dibdib niya pero pinilit niyang ngumiti pabalik.

"Good morning, baby. Love mo pa rin namn ako, 'di ba?"

Heilan chuckled and nodded.

"I do. Let's have breakfast now? I'm sure you're hungry." Sabi nito at bumangon.

"Cook for me?" She cutely asked.

"Gladly." Then he exited the room.

Doon nawala ang ngiti niya. She lay back on bed thinking the future with her and Heilan... pero hanggang kailan ka mamumuhay sa ilusyon mo, Ckim?